I was in a profuse perspiration, and had
succeeded in knocking one of my great toe-nails entirely off, which
afterwards laid me up for two weeks. When we reached the other end he
looked solemnly at me and said: "By gosh! you can run like a racehorse
can't you?"

"Yes," I replied, almost out of breath, "and you are no slouch
yourself."

I then took a comfortable seat on a fence-rail and asked him if that was
the fastest horse he owned. He answered: "No, by gosh, I own one that
can out-trot this one."

"Yes," I said, "but trotters won't do here. We must have a running horse
to do this right."

After skimming over a couple of acres which took but a few minutes, we
concluded to make an investigation to see how evenly the kernels were
being distributed.

Although it seemed to us that we were using up a large quantity of corn
we found but few hills containing more than the average number of
kernels.

Of course we only examined along the line opposite each check, having no
thought of finding any corn between them.

I then suggested that he finish it alone, as I must return to town to
attend to important business.

This he agreed to and I left at once. In about ten days he drove up in
front of the office and beckoned me out, when he said:

"Get in here young man, I want to show you something."

I climbed in the wagon and he started for home.

On the way he asked me how long I had been in that business, adding that
he "didn't suppose I had ever worked in a shop where they made
corn-planters."

I assured him that my time had always been too valuable for that.

He said he "supposed so."

When we arrived at the corn-field he drew a long breath and said:

"Now sir, you have done a deal of blowing about your old check-row
corn-planters. As you see, this corn is high enough to judge, and if you
can find a single row in this whole field, I'll buy you out."

I admitted that there were no rows, and said to him in a confidential
way: "My dear sir, I supposed you understood that this machine was
intended to sow broadcast."

"Broadcast the d----l!" he replied, and flew into a rage, declaring he
would sue me for damages. I then said to him as I motioned towards the
house: "Come inside, I want to show _you_ something."

He followed me in, and I took an old slipper and a woolen sock off my
foot, and without unwrapping the toe, said, pointing to it: "Sir, if I
have that toe taken off, I shall be obliged to compel you to