why
don't you introduce me?

_Scrub_. Ladies, this is the strange gentleman's servant
that you saw at church to-day; I understood he
came from London, and so I invited him to the
cellar, that he might show me the newest flourish in
whetting my knives. {142}

_Dor_. And I hope you have made much of him?

_Arch_. Oh yes, madam, but the strength of your lady
ship's liquor is a little too potent for the constitution
of your humble servant.

_Mrs. Sul_. What, then you don't usually drink ale?

_Arch_. No, madam; my constant drink is tea, or a little
wine and water. 'Tis prescribed me by the physician
for a remedy against the spleen. {150}

_Scrub_. Oh la! Oh la! a footman have the spleen!

_Mrs. Sul_. I thought that distemper had been only
proper to people of quality?

_Arch_. Madam, like all other fashions it wears Out, and
so descends to their servants; though in a great
many of us, I believe, it proceeds from some
melancholy particles in the blood, occasioned by
the stagnation of wages.

_Dor_. [_Aside to Mrs. Sullen_.] How affectedly the fello*
talks!--[_To Archer_.] How long, pray, have yon
served your present master? {161}

_Arch_. Not long; my life has been mostly spent in the
service of the ladies.

_Mrs. Sul_. And pray, which service do you like best?

_Arch_. Madam, the ladies pay best; the honour of
serving them is sufficient wages; there is a charm in
their looks that delivers a pleasure with their commands,
and gives our duty the wings of inclination.

_Mrs. Sul_. [_Aside_.] That flight was above the pitch of a
livery.--[_Aloud_.] And, sir, would not you be satisfied
to serve a lady again? {171}

_Arch_. As a groom of the chamber, madam, but not as a
footman.

_Mrs. Sul_. I suppose you served as footman before?
_Arch_. For that reason I would not serve in that post
again; for my memory is too weak for the load of
messages that the ladies lay upon their servants in
London. My Lady Howd'ye, the last mistress I
served, called me up one morning, and told me,
'Martin, go to my Lady Allnight with my humble
service; tell her I was to wait on her ladyship
yesterday, and left word with Mrs. Rebecca, that
the preliminaries of the affair she knows of, are
stopped till we know the concurrence of the person
that I know of, for which there are circumstances
wanting which we shall accommodate at the old
place; but that