ing at you in this very impertinent
fashion. But, my dear fellow, let me advise you as a friend to overcome
your very conspicuous vanity. I am, perhaps, taking a most
unwarrantable liberty in presuming to offer you advice on so delicate a
subject, or, indeed, in alluding to it at all; but, to tell you the
truth, I have taken rather a liking for you in spite of--ah--ahem--that
is--I mean that you struck me as being a first-rate fellow
notwithstanding the little failing at which I have hinted. You are
quite good enough every way to pass muster without the necessity for any
attempt to clothe yourself with fictitious attributes of any kind. Of
course, in the ordinary run of events you will soon be laughed out of
your weakness--there is no place equal to a man-of-war for the speedy
cure of that sort of thing--but the process is often a very painful one
to the patient--I have passed through it myself, so I can speak from
experience--so _very_ painful was it to me that, even at the risk of
being considered impertinent, I have ventured to give you a friendly
caution, in the hope that your good sense will enable you to profit by
it, and so save you many a bitter mortification. Now I _hope_ I have
not offended you?"

"By no means, my lord," I replied, grasping his proffered hand. "On the
contrary, I am very sincerely obliged to you--"

At this moment the first lieutenant of the _Saint George_ reappeared on
deck, and coming up to me with Mr Austin's letter open in his hand,
said:

"My friend Mr Austin writes me that you are quite out of eggs on board
the _Daphne_, and asks me to lend him a couple of dozen." (Here was
another take-down for me; the important despatch with which I--_out of
all the midshipmen on board_--had been intrusted was simply a request
for the loan of two dozen eggs!) "He sends to me for them instead of
procuring them from the shore, because he is afraid you may lose some of
your boat's crew." (Evidently Mr Austin had not the high opinion of me
that I fondly imagined he had.) "I am sorry to say I cannot oblige Mr
Austin; but I think we can overcome the difficulty if you do not mind
being delayed a quarter of an hour or so. I have a packet which I wish
to send ashore, and if you will give Lord Southdown here--who seems to
be a friend of yours--a passage to the Hard and off again, he will look
after your boat's crew for you whilst you purchase your eggs."

I of course acquiesced in this proposal; whe