many, very many suffer
and endure trials, and I have solved the problem and told it all to my
segar!'

'Well now that is selfish, William!'

'Not at all my dear sister, what lady would tolerate the slightest
interference with her housekeeping? How long would you permit me to stay
here, in financial partnership, if I even offered one word of advice.'

'Oh, how unjust, speak out now and let me hear what you have confided to
your segar.'

'Well, in the first place, there are two kinds of ways to keep house.
No. one is to keep your servants; No. two is to be kept by them. Herein
is the key note of much trouble. Another difficulty is fear. I have been
perfectly amazed to listen to ladies when asking a waiter to do
something for them. Just think of it. I heard Mrs. ----, at table the
other day, turn round and look towards a red headed, uplifted girl, with
a conciliatory smile and say, 'Betty, would you mind giving me a glass
of water?'

'Zounds madam, I wanted to scream!--and only last night, while paying a
visit I heard a lady who rules her elegant husband to within an inch of
his life, say to the waiter, 'John, please put on your things and muffle
up well, for it is very cold and do take this note to Mrs. Henry's' and,
almost with the same breath, she turned on her husband and said,
'Albert, go down and get that medicine _at once_ for you know I cannot
retire till I take it--you can see _your_ friend any time,' looking at
me in a hard manner and then at the clock. 'Now what do you call that?
That woman has courage to meet her equals and put all things straight;
but a menial crushes her.'

'Well, of course you don't understand those things, William, but I do.'

'I suppose so, but I don't want to. It is all wrong--all _humbug_, all
TRASH!' I exclaimed as my excitement knocked the ashes of my segar over
my clean shirt.

'What would you have us do?' exclaimed Mary, a little nettled at my last
remark.

'Do?' I replied, with emphasis; 'let the men keep house. Watch them, and
learn the true method, which has for its motto,

"Maximum of work,
Minimum of trouble."'

By this time I began to feel anxious.--My sister had gone off into a fit
of laughter that at first greatly roused my ire, but ultimately
awakened anxiety, for she could not gain her breath. I rang for a
servant; of course none came, for she always had to call them. 'They
were having such a good time down stairs, they could not hear the bell,'