ar nothin' but
the shadders of 'em. And _then_ he wouldn't let the old pianner go. He
for'ard two'd, he crost over first gentleman, he chassade right and
left, back to your places, he all hands'd aroun', ladies to the right,
promenade all, in and out, here and there, back and forth, up and down,
perpetual motion, double twisted and turned and tacked and tangled into
forty-eleven thousand double bow-knots.

By jinks! it was a mixtery. And then he wouldn't let the old pianner go.
He fetcht up his right wing, he fetcht up his left wing, he fetcht up
his center, he fetcht up his reserves. He fired by file, he fired by
platoons, by company, by regiments, and by brigades. He opened his
cannon,--siege-guns down thar, Napoleons here, twelve-pounders
yonder,--big guns, little guns, middle-sized guns, round shot, shells,
shrapnels, grape, canister, mortar, mines and magazines, every livin'
battery and bomb a-goin' at the same time. The house trembled, the
lights danced, the walls shuk, the floor come up, the ceilin' come down,
the sky split, the ground rocked--heavens and earth, creation, sweet
potatoes, Moses, ninepences, glory, tenpenny nails, Samson in a
'simmon-tree, Tump Tompson in a tumbler-cart, roodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-
ruddle-uddle-uddle-uddle--raddle-addle-eedle--riddle-iddle-iddle-
iddle--reedle-eedle-eedle-eedle--p-r-r-r-rlank! Bang!!! lang! perlang!
p-r-r-r-r-r!! Bang!!!!

With that bang! he lifted himself bodily into the a'r, and he come down
with his knees, his ten fingers, his ten toes, his elbows, and his nose,
striking every single solitary key on the pianner at the same time. The
thing busted and went off into seventeen hundred and fifty-seven
thousand five hundred and forty-two hemi-demi-semi-quivers, and I know'd
no mo'.

When I come to, I were under ground about twenty foot, in a place they
call Oyster Bay, treatin' a Yankee that I never laid eyes on before and
never expect to ag'in. Day was breakin' by the time I got to the St.
Nicholas Hotel, and I pledge you my word I did not know my name. The man
asked me the number of my room, and I told him, "Hot music on the
half-shell for two!"

PLAGIARISM

BY JOHN B. TABB

If Poe from Pike The Raven stole,
As his accusers say,
Then to embody Adam's soul,
God _plagiarised_ the clay.

GO LIGHTLY, GAL

(THE CAKE-WALK)

BY ANNE VIRGINIA CULBERTSON

Sweetes' li'l honey in all dis lan',
Come erlong yer an' gimm