come out of the estate. And now, what can we do for
you? Have you looked into the accounts carefully?

_Client_. No, and I am rather fond of figures.

_Sol._ Then we will send you a copy for, say, the last five years.

_Client_. Shall I be able to make them out?

_Sol._ You ought to be able to do so, my dear Madam. They will be
prepared by a leading firm of Accountants, and we will check them
ourselves before we send them to you. Is there anything else?

_Client_. No thanks--I think not. And now I must say good-bye. I am
ashamed to take up so much of your valuable time.

_Sol._ Not at all. I shall be amply remunerated out of the estate.
(_Exit_ Client. Solicitor _gives his_ Clerk _the heads for six folios
of a bill of costs, and then observes_--) Not a bad morning's work!

THE FUTURE (_AS THEY WILL BE_). SCENE--_THE SAME. SOLICITOR AND
CLERK DISCOVERED._

_Sol._ Now mind, on no account is she to be admitted. She talks about
all sorts of things and takes up my time dreadfully, and now the
Court won't pass "luxurious costs," and objects to payment out of the
estate, I can charge nothing. So mind, she is not to be admitted.

_Clerk_. Very good, Sir. [_Exit._

_Sol._ Yes. At my very busiest time, when every moment is valuable!
(_Enter_ Client.) What you, my dear Madam! I really am too busy to
attend to you this morning.

_Client_ (_astonished_). Why you said you were always pleased to see
me!

_Sol._ But that was before the Judges' recommendations were adopted.
Nowadays we must not let you run up costs until we have explained to
you in writing what you are about. And as all you say will come out
of your own pocket, and not out of the estate, it is only fair to warn
you.

_Client_. What, out of my own pocket! Then I shall be off.

_Sol._ Sorry to give up our pleasant conversations, but they run into
money. (_Exit Client, when the Solicitor shakes his head to the Clerk
who has brought his rough draft of costs, and to which nothing now can
be legally added, and observes_--) Not a good day's work!

* * * * *

[Illustration: BALANCE OF PROBABILITIES.

_High Church Lady_. "I SUPPOSE THAT WAS THE LADY CHAPEL BEHIND THE
CHOIR?"

_Low Church Verger_. "I DON'T FANCY THERE'S HANY SUCH 'EREABOUTS, M'M.
I THINK IT WAS ONLY THE PEW-OPENER!"]

* * * * *

THE BOOM-DE-AY POET.

["Mr. RICHARD MORTON, the author of "_Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay_,"
has be