cry that "it _was_ big, and that they had
better do somethin' or 'nother."

"Let's blow up the ole school-house," said Bill Day, who was not
friendly to education.

"I tell you what," said Bob Short, who was dealing the cards in another
set--"I tell you what," and Bob winked his eyes vigorously, and looked
more solemn and wise than he could have looked if it had not been for
the hard eggs and the whisky--"I tell you what," said Bob a third time,
and halted, for his mind's activity was a little choked by the fervor of
his emotions--"I tell you what, boys--"

"Wal," piped Jim West in a cracked voice, "you've told us _what_ four
times, I 'low; now s'pose you tell us somethin' else."

"I tell you what, boys," said Bob Short, suddenly remembering his
sentence, "don't let's do nothin' that'll git us into no trouble
arterwards. Ef we blow up the school-house we'll be 'rested fer bigamy
or--or--what d'ye call it?"

"For larson," said Bill Day, hardly able to restrain another whoop.

"No, 'taint larson," said Bob Short, looking wiser than a chief-justice,
"it's arsony. Now I say, don't let's go to penitentiary for no--no
larson--no arsony, I mean."

"Ha--oop!" said Bill. "Let's do somethin' ludikerous. Hurrah for arsony
and larson! Dog-on the penitentiary! Ha--oop!"

[Illustration: SOMETHIN' LUDIKEROUS.]

"Let's go fer the Dutchman," said Norman Anderson, just drunk enough to
be good-naturedly murderous and to speak in dialect. "Gus is turned out
to committin' larson by breakin' into people's houses an' has run off.
Now let's tar and feather the ole one. Of course, he's a thief. Dutchmen
always is, I 'low. Clark township don't want none of 'em, I'll be
dog-oned if it do," and Norman got up and struck his fist on
the counter.

"An' they won't nobody hurt you; you see, he's on'y a Dutchman," said
Bob Short "Larson on a Dutchman don't hold."

"I say, let's hang him," said Bill Day. "Ha--oop! Let's hang him, or do
somethin' else ludikerous!"

"I wouldn't mind," grinned Norman Anderson, delighted at the turn things
had taken. "I'd just like to see him hung."

"So would I," said Bill Day, leaning over to Norman. "Ef a Dutchman wash
to court my sishter, I'd--"

"He'd be a fool ef he did," piped Jim West. For Bill Day's sister was a
"maid not vendible," as Shakespeare has it.

"See yer," said Bill, trying in vain to draw his coat. "Looky yer,
Jeems; ef you say anythin' agin Ann Marier, I'll commit the wust larson
on