the
usual devices for giving the Government a thoroughly uncomfortable
time."

"In short you will do your patriotic best to help your country through
its difficulties and to put the interest of the nation above your own
convenience."

"Francesca," I said, "you must not be too serious. I was but attempting
a jest."

"This is no time for jests. I can't bear even to think of your joining
the Brigade of Grousers who are always girding at the Government. I
won't stand your being a girder. So make up your mind to that."

"Very well," I said, "I will endeavour not to be a girder; but you
simply _must_ get me a pot or two of marmalade."

"And allow the KAISER to win the War? Not if I know it. Besides, I don't
like marmalade."

"There you are," I said. "You don't like marmalade--few women do--and so
you're going to make a virtue for yourself by forcing _me_ to give it
up. My dear, you've given the whole show away."

"Don't juggle with words," she said, speaking with a dreadful calm. "I
may be able to get a pot or two--say at the outside a dozen pots. Well,
if I manage it I will inform you--"

"Yes," I said eagerly.

"If I manage it," she repeated, "you shall know of it, and you shall
make your self-denial complete and efficacious."

"I don't like the way in which this sentence is turning out."

"You shall have a pot in front of you at breakfast, and you shan't touch
a shred of it."

"Francesca," I said, "you're a tyrant. But no, you wouldn't be mean
enough to do it--before the children too."

"Perhaps, as a concession, I would allow you a little marmalade in a
pudding at luncheon."

"But I don't like marmalade in a pudding at luncheon. I like it on toast
at breakfast."

"But you're not going to have it on toast at breakfast."

"Well," I said, "I shall conduct reprisals. For every time you don't
allow me to have any I shall destroy something you like--a blouse or a
hat. If I'm to give up the essence of Dundee or Paisley you shall at
least give up hats."

"But the marmalade will remain."

"Yes, and the hats will all perish. That's where I come in."

"Don't buoy yourself up with that notion," she said. "You'll have to pay
for the new ones--or owe."

R. C. L

* * * * *

[Illustration: "OH, CONSTABLE, I CAN'T GET A TAXI. THEY ALL SAY IT'S
THEIR DINNER-HOUR. IS IT ANY GOOD MY WAITING?"

"I CAN'T SAY, MISS. IF YOU WAS ON THE SPOT YOU _MIGHT_ BE ABLE TO CATCH
ONE AFORE THEI