the car, whistling a popular air softly to himself. Tanner,
a little annoyed, is about to pursue the subject when he hears the
footsteps of Octavius on the gravel. Octavius is coming from the house,
dressed for motoring, but without his overcoat]. We've lost the race,
thank Heaven: here's Mr Robinson. Well, Tavy, is the steam car a
success?

OCTAVIUS. I think so. We came from Hyde Park Corner here in seventeen
minutes. [The Chauffeur, furious, kicks the car with a groan of
vexation]. How long were you?

TANNER. Oh, about three quarters of an hour or so.

THE CHAUFFEUR. [remonstrating] Now, now, Mr Tanner, come now! We could
ha done it easy under fifteen.

TANNER. By the way, let me introduce you. Mr Octavius Robinson: Mr Enry
Straker.

STRAKER. Pleased to meet you, sir. Mr Tanner is gittin at you with his
Enry Straker, you know. You call it Henery. But I don't mind, bless you.

TANNER. You think it's simply bad taste in me to chaff him, Tavy. But
you're wrong. This man takes more trouble to drop his aiches than ever
his father did to pick them up. It's a mark of caste to him. I have
never met anybody more swollen with the pride of class than Enry is.

STRAKER. Easy, easy! A little moderation, Mr Tanner.

TANNER. A little moderation, Tavy, you observe. You would tell me to
draw it mild, But this chap has been educated. What's more, he knows
that we haven't. What was that board school of yours, Straker?

STRAKER. Sherbrooke Road.

TANNER. Sherbrooke Road! Would any of us say Rugby! Harrow! Eton! in
that tone of intellectual snobbery? Sherbrooke Road is a place where
boys learn something; Eton is a boy farm where we are sent because we
are nuisances at home, and because in after life, whenever a Duke is
mentioned, we can claim him as an old schoolfellow.

STRAKER. You don't know nothing about it, Mr. Tanner. It's not the Board
School that does it: it's the Polytechnic.

TANNER. His university, Octavius. Not Oxford, Cambridge, Durham, Dublin
or Glasgow. Not even those Nonconformist holes in Wales. No, Tavy.
Regent Street, Chelsea, the Borough--I don't know half their confounded
names: these are his universities, not mere shops for selling class
limitations like ours. You despise Oxford, Enry, don't you?

STRAKER. No, I don't. Very nice sort of place, Oxford, I should
think, for people that like that sort of place. They teach you to be a
gentleman there. In the Polytechnic they teach you to be an engineer or