n't patronized much, and it
shuts up at eight. You and I can go there and have dinner at six, say,
and watch for them to come."

Then they set to work at their letters.

"Now," said Condy, "we must have these sound perfectly natural, because
if either of these people smell the smallest kind of a rat, you won't
catch 'em. You must write not as YOU would write, but as you think
THEY would. This is an art, a kind of fiction, don't you see? We must
imagine a certain character, and write a letter consistent with that
character. Then it'll sound natural. Now, K. D. B. Well, K. D. B.,
she's prim. Let's have her prim, and proud of using correct, precise,
'elegant' language. I guess she wears mits, and believes in cremation.
Let's have her believe in cremation. And Captain Jack; oh! he's got a
terrible voice, like this, ROW-ROW-ROW see? and whiskers, very fierce;
and he says, 'Belay there!' and 'Avast!' and is very grandiloquent and
orotund and gallant when it comes to women. Oh, he's the devil of a
man when it comes to women, is Captain Jack!"

After countless trials and failures, they evolved the two following
missives, which Condy posted that night:

"Captain Jack.

"SIR:--I have perused with entire satisfaction your personal in 'The
Times.' I should like to know more of you. I read between the lines,
and my perception ineradicably convinces me that you are honest and
respectable. I do not believe I should compromise my self-esteem at
all in granting you an interview. I shall be at Luna's restaurant at
seven precisely, next Monday eve, and will bear a bunch of white
marguerites. Will you likewise, and wear a marguerite in your lapel?

"Trusting this will find you in health, I am

"Respectfully yours,

"K. D. B."

"Miss K. D. B.

"DEAR MISS:--From the modest and retiring description of your qualities
and character, I am led to believe that I will find in you an agreeable
life companion. Will you not accord me the great favor of a personal
interview? I shall esteem it a high honor. I will be at Luna's Mexican
restaurant at seven of the clock P.M. on Monday evening next. May I
express the fervent hope that you also will be there? I name the
locality because it is quiet and respectable. I shall wear a white
marguerite in my buttonhole. Will you also carry a bunch of the same
flower?

"Yours to command,