emergency, and stipulated that, in the event
of any sudden revolution obliging us to scuttle back again over the
frontiers post haste, the uniform in question shall be regarded as our
own personal property, and not be liable to be claimed as a royal
perquisite, and altered to fit our possible successor. This, then, is
the true statement of the reason that has induced us to assume the
recent attitude that we have felt constrained to take in the face of the
European Powers, concerning whom we may add, in conclusion, that their
laughter if they are amused, or their howling if they are angered, are
at the present moment equally matters of supreme indifference to us.

(_Signed_) FERDINAND, _Prince Elect of Bulgaria_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: The Fag End of the Session "Keeping a House"]

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Lords, Monday, August 8._--Curious debate in Lords. As
everyone knows, GEORGE RANGER has given notice to Volunteers that some
of his tenants in neighbourhood of Wimbledon object to the assembling of
Camp, and so the tents must be struck. As Commander-in-Chief, GEORGE
RANGER is, of course, specially solicitous for the prosperity and
convenience of the great and singularly cheap adjunct to regular forces.
But as between a landlord's interest and a patriot-soldier's sentiments
sentiment must take back seat. Nice thing to talk about in after-dinner
speeches, and at opening of Bazaars; but, GEORGE RANGER regrets to say,
quite another pair of sleeves in actual life. So Camp must be struck.

To-night WEMYSS brings on Motion deprecating contemplated procedure.
Removal of the Camp, he said amid cheers, would be "nothing short of a
national calamity." Would endanger progress if not existence of
Volunteer movement. Dook behaved most nobly. Declared with tear in his
voice that he would not be obstacle to free course of debate. Lest Peers
of England should be awed by his presence when discussing matter of
"national interest," G. R would withdraw, which he did! Noble Lords made
free use of their liberty. WANTAGE who, fresh from his command at
Wimbledon, knows all about it, deplored the contingency. SPENCER
effectively brought the ultimate ends of his left-hand whisker to
witness that driving-out of Volunteers from Camp would be "a public
disaster." HARRIS hinted, on behalf of Government, that British
tax-payer might somehow be brought i