t put my luggage on that carriage?

I had a right to say I would take no conveyance--as a matter of fact, I
knew I should be swindled.

Now do make haste, and do what I ask, or I shall report you to the
Station Master.

No, I shall give you nothing--it is contrary to the Bye-laws in England.

AT THE HOTEL.

I object to this room, because it is on the ground, first, or upper
floors (_according to taste_).

I do not like the price paid for the _table d'hote_.

I object to the bed-curtains--why are there no bed-curtains?

I will not pay for _service_--_service_ should be charged.

Your prices are extortionate. I shall be careful to warn all my friends
against coming to this hotel.

Don't be impertinent.

EN ROUTE.

This scenery is disappointing.

The water-fall is over-rated and the ruin a fraud.

I will not take off my wide-awake in this Cathedral.

Why cannot I look at the altar during the celebration of Service?

I have seen much better things in a ninth-rate town in England than I
find in this Museum.

I consider the whole tour not worth the candle.

It is infamous that I should have been induced by false pretences to
come abroad.

You can easily imagine how I must be missed at home.

* * * * *

Land Measure.

[Mr. JESSE COLLINGS supports the Government Allotments Bill,
although it only holds forth a prospect of one acre, and no cow.]

JESSE content with SALISBURY'S gift? How odd!
One acre only, and of cows a lack!
Pooh! JESSE takes this "acre" as a "rod"--
For faithless GLADSTONE'S back.

* * * * *

THE QUESTION OF THE HOUR.--The Government have been given a good inch
(of coercive power). Will they take a (National) League?

* * * * *

WELSH FOR THE WELSH.

MR. PUNCH by some accident was unable to be present at the "Eisteddfod
Genhedlaethol y Cymry," and therefore could not take part in the
competitions at the Albert Hall. For the sake of the other bards he is
glad, as he feels sure that had he sung his own little composition he
would have been hailed at once "_Pencerd Gwalia_," "_Mynorydd_" and
"_Owen Dyfed_," rolled into one. However, that the World may not suffer
by his unselfishness, he publishes his _Anerchiaudau ir Llywydd_
(Poetical Address to the President), which he would have sung to an
accompaniment of a hundred harps. As it is short, he gives it in full:--