e,
put on his spectacles, and settled down to a labored, but thorough
perusal of the paper, beginning at the head-lines on the upper
left-hand corner, and taking in every word, advertisements and all, as
systematically as he would weed a garden-bed or milk a cow. The Deacon
never did anything slip-shod, especially when he had to pay 10 cents for
a copy of the Cincinnati Gazette. He was going to get his full money's
worth, and if it was not in the news and editorials, he would take it
out of the advertisements and patent medicine testimonials. He was
just going through a convincing testimonial to the manifold virtues of
Spalding's Prepared Glue, when there was a bump, the sound of coupling,
and his car began to move off.

"Glory, we're goin' home!" shouted the Deacon, waving his paper
exultingly to the railroad men who had been so helpful. But he exulted
prematurely. The engine rattled ahead sharply for a few hundred yards,
and then began backing to opposite the spot where it had started from.

"That's all right," said his railroads friends encouragingly. "She's
just run back on the other switch to take up a couple more cars. She'll
go ahead all right presently."

"I hope it is all right," said the Deacon, a little abashed; "but I
never had any use for a hoss that went back more'n he did forrard."

But this was only the first of many similar experiences, which occupied
the rest of the day.

"Good gracious, do they want to wear the track and wheels and injines
clean out?" grumbled the Deacon. "No wonder they're all out o' order. If
I jammed my wagon back and forrard this way it wouldn't last a month.
No wonder war-taxes are high, with everybody doin' all they kin to waste
and destroy property. I've a great mind to write to Gen. Rosecrans or
President Lincoln callin' attention to the way their hired men monkey
around, and waste time, and don't accomplish nothin'."

Some time after dark, and after the Deacon's patience had become
well-nigh exhausted, the railroad men came around with a lantern, and
told him that at last it was settled, and the train would move out very
soon. There had been conflicting orders during the day, but now the
Chief Quartermaster at Nashville had ordered the train forward. Sure
enough, the train pulled out presently, and went rattling up toward
Shelbyville. Again the Deacon's heart bounded high, and after watching
the phantom-like roadside for awhile, he grew very sleepy, and crawled
in alon