* * * * *

From a concert programme at Brighton:--

"Parsifal.
Tannhaeuser.
Walkuere.
Gotterdaemmerung.
Siegfried.
Tristan and Isolde.
Requiem for 3 cellos and orchestra."

The last item does not surprise us.

* * * * *

"ANSTRUTHER.--Comf. roofs, 2 beds, 25th July on; sea
view."--_Glasgow Herald._

The fresh air craze is spreading.

* * * * *

MNEMONICS.

For reasons of economy we get all our household requisites from
Moggridge's Stores in the Tottenham Court Road, where we have a deposit
account. Joan once worked out that by shopping in this manner we saved
ninepence-halfpenny every time we spent one pound four and fivepence
(her arithmetic cannot cope with percentages), besides having our goods
delivered at the door by a motor van. This is a distinct score off our
neighbours, who have to be content with theirs being brought round by a
boy on a kind of three-wheeled Black-Maria.

We are not on the telephone at home, so it is my part of the arrangement
to ring up Moggridge's when I arrive at my office, and order what we
want; that is, whenever I remember. But unfortunately I own the most
impossible of head-pieces. It's all right to look at from the outside,
but inside the valves leak, or else the taps run. Consequently it
generally ends in Joan's writing a note when I return home in the
evening. Thus I was not altogether surprised when, one morning after
breakfast, Joan asked me to repeat her orders. I did so. "That's not
what I said!" cried Joan. "That's only what you _thought_ I said. I did
not even mention smoked salmon. Now listen while I tell you again; or,
better still, write it down on a piece of paper."

"That's no good," I said. "I always lose the paper. But go on with the
list; I've got a very good idea."

"Two pounds of Mocha coffee," she began.

I picked up two coffee beans from the tray--Joan self-grinds and
self-makes the coffee every morning--and placed them amongst the loose
change in my trouser pocket.

"Fourteen pounds of best loaf sugar," she went on.

I drew my handkerchief from my sleeve, tied a small lump of sugar in a
corner of it, and then placed it inside my hat.

"Why put it in your hat?" asked Joan.

"Because," I answered, "I may not have occasion to draw my handkerchief
from its usual place, whereas I always _have_ to take my hat off."