ound milk best.

But, heedless of a debt
He never should forget,
Ungrateful man is planning to replace
By vegetable aid
The kindly service paid
By your mild-natured and sweet-breathing race.

Yet, ere the Soya boom
Achieves the dairy's doom,
And rude bean-crushers oust the homely churn,
Let one unworthy scribe
Salute the vaccine tribe
And lay his wreath upon their funeral urn.

* * * * *

The Trippers.

"The native inhabitants produce all manner of curios, the great
majority of which appear to command a ready sale among the visitors,
crude and commonplace as these frequently are."--_Bulawayo
Chronicle._

They are; but, bless their hearts, they seem to enjoy themselves.

* * * * *

"EXETER.--Young Cook-General, willing to learn; small family, no
children; no basement. No religion preferred."

_Western Morning News._

She forgot to add "No meals to serve."

* * * * *

MY GIRL CADDIE.

As a matter of fact she was my gardener's chauffeur-son's girl. The
junior parent having been living chiefly on my garden or in my kitchen,
and now being at the end of his resources, it was suggested that I
should give his Amy a job. The proposal came from my wife, who had been
victualling Amy's mother and Amy's baby sister for some weeks. An
illuminating correspondence in the Press had done the rest.

For her first appointment at the tee Amy was nearly twenty minutes late,
and when she arrived it was in a mauve skirt, green stockings, an ochre
sporting coat and a hat which had once been my wife's. Seen against the
background of the native boy caddies, Amy might have been described as
picturesque.

"Mother says," said Amy, as we introduced ourselves--"Mother says she's
sorry you should be kep', but baby's used to going off, me rocking 'im,
and she was that busy, it being the day what she mostly washes."

"Very well, Amy," I said, realising the situation, "we must do better
next time. The gentleman I was to play would not wait; but perhaps, if
we just went round together, you could get an idea of your--your
duties."

Amy accepted my suggestion and my bag of clubs with an abstracted sniff.
She seemed to be more closely engaged in retorting by manual signals to
the distant provocations of her male rivals.

"Now, Amy," I reminded her gently, "you must learn how to ma