y
mother, and, beautiful as she was, calculate in his mind whether the
possession of her was indemnification sufficient for the loss of the
brigade which she had cost him.

To account for my father's satisfaction, I must acquaint the reader with
circumstances which are not very well known. As I before observed,
Napoleon had no objection to marriage, because he required men for his
army; and because he required men, and not women, he thought very poorly
of a married couple who produced a plurality of girls. If, on the
contrary, a woman presented her husband with six or seven boys, if he
was an officer in the army, he was certain of a pension for life. Now,
as my mother had commenced with a boy, and it is well known that there
is every chance of a woman continuing to produce the sex which first
makes its appearance, she was much complimented and congratulated by the
officers when she so soon gave signs of an increase, and they prophesied
that she would, by her fruitfulness, in a few years obtain a pension for
her husband. My father hoped so, and thought that if he had lost the
brigade, he would be indemnified by the pension. My mother was certain
of it; and declared it was a boy.

But prophesies, hopes, and declarations, were all falsified and
overthrown by my unfortunate appearance. The disappointment of my
father was great; but he bore it like a man. My mother was not only
disappointed, but indignant. She felt mortified after all her
declarations, that I should have appeared and disproved them. She was a
woman of violent temper, a discovery which my father made too late. To
me, as the cause of her humiliation and disappointment, she took an
aversion, which only increased as I grew up, and which, as will be
hereafter shown, was the main spring of all my vicissitudes in
after-life.

Surely, there is an error in asserting that there is no feeling so
strong as maternal love. How often do we witness instances like mine,
in which disappointed vanity, ambition, or interest, have changed this
love into deadly hate!

My father, who felt the inconvenience of my mother accompanying him on
forced marches, and who, perhaps, being disappointed in his hopes of a
pension, thought that he might as well recover the Emperor's favour, and
look for the brigade, now proposed that my mother should return with her
two children to her parents. This my mother, who had always gained the
upper-hand, positively refused to accede to