were to the heartlessness of the world; the more I considered
the almost hopeless condition in which I was in, the more my energy was
roused. I sat down on the sofa a confiding, clinging girl. I rose up a
resolute, clear-sighted woman.

I reflected, and had made up my mind that Madame d'Albret would never
forgive one whom she had injured as she had me. She had induced me to
break off all family and parental ties (such as they were), she had made
me wholly dependent upon her, and had now cast me off in a cruel and
heartless manner. She had used deceit because she knew that she could
not justify her conduct. She had raised calumnies against me, accusing
me of ingratitude, as an excuse for her own conduct. Anything like a
reconciliation therefore was impossible, and any assistance from her I
was determined not to accept.

Besides, was she not married to Monsieur de G--, whom pique at my
refusal had made my enemy, and who had, in all probability, as he
pressed his own suit, perceived the necessity, independent of the
gratification it afforded him to be my ruin, of removing me as a serious
obstacle to Madame d'Albret's contracting a new alliance? From that
quarter, therefore, there was nothing to be expected or hoped for, even
if it were desired. And what was my position with Madame Bathurst? On
a visit! At the termination of which I was houseless.

That Madame Bathurst would probably offer me a temporary asylum, for she
would hardly turn me out of doors, I felt convinced; but my new-born
pride revolted at the idea of dependence upon one on whom I had no claim
whatever. What, then, was to be done? I examined my capital. I was
handsome, but that was of no use to me; the insidious conduct of
Monsieur de G--had raised to positive dislike the indifference that I
felt for his sex, and I had no inclination to make a market of my
personal advantages. I could sing and play well. I spoke French and
English, and understood Italian. I could embroider the work well with
my needle. Such were my capabilities, my stock-in-trade with which to
commence the world; I was, therefore, competent to a certain degree to
give lessons in music and in French, or to take a governess's place, or
to become a modiste.

I thought of Madame Paon, but when I reflected in what manner I had
visited her, the respect and homage, I may say, which had been offered
up to me, and how different my reception and treatment would be if I
entered th