mazing volumes in the world is the "History of Tools
and Machinery." We have all known for a long time that there is not one
single German name among the eight great masters of painting that begins
with Rembrandt and includes men like Velasquez and Giotto. We have long
known that there is no German sculptor of the first class nor a German
sculptor that is within ten thousand leagues of Rodin, Michael Angelo or
Phidias. We have long known that Schubert and Schumann and Rubinstein
and Haydn and Chopin were all Jews, and that three-fourths of the other
so-called German musicians were Jews whose ancestors suffered such
frightful political disabilities in Germany and were so regularly looted
of all their property that they gave up their Hebrew names and took
German, just as now thousands upon thousands of Germans in this
country, ashamed of their names, are Americanizing their family title.

The simple fact is that if a Jew will only write the creative music,
like that of Beethoven, a German whose gift is detail will conduct the
orchestra.

The German can standardize a machine, providing an Englishman, a
Frenchman or an American will first invent it. The German will gather up
the remnants and scraps and odds and ends in a clothing factory--but,
oh, think of an American gentleman having to wear the coat that was cut
by a tailor in Berlin or Munich! Having during ten different summers
looked at their garments, all one can say is that the German men and
women are covered up but not clothed.

For thirty years the Germans have paid their representatives to stand on
the corner of the street and bawl out to every passer-by: "Great is the
Kaiser! Great are we Germans! Let all people with cymbals, sackbut,
shawms and psaltery cry aloud, saying 'Great is the Kaiser and all his
people!'"

And now suddenly the myth has burst like a bubble. The delusion is
exploded. The Kaiser has found out that it is dangerous to blow too
much hot air into a German bladder.

Measured around the stomach in the Hofbraus in the presence of a barrel
of beer, the Prussian and the Bavarian are great; but the hat band
requires the least material of any made in four countries.

For the time has come to confess this simple fact that for any one great
tool, or art, or contribution to science created by a German there are
four invented by either an American, an Englishman or a Frenchman.

4. German Intrigues

The spider's web stretched out over a flower