d be shown as 'Officer's Charger, one,' and
should be trained and employed by you as such. (3) Please report action
taken, and whether by you or by the Cow."

Even as the C.C. was contemplating this communication and hearkening to the
cow grumbling away in his front-garden, his old regiment took occasion to
march through the village and, in so doing, added insult to injury. The
regiment had a mascot; the mascot was a goat; the goat fell out on the
march and went sick. It did this in that portion of the C.C.'s front garden
which was not already occupied by the cow, and its orders from the Colonel,
who was its C.O. and had once been the Camp Commandant's C.O., were to
remain with the C.C. and upon his charge till called for. This is all a
very true story, but it's poor rations I'll be getting from the C.C. during
what remains of this War for divulging it.

Be anything in the military world you like, Charles, from a courtly General
to a thrusting Loot in charge of some overwhelmingly important department
or other, but do not be a Camp Commandant. As there is no terrible
complication which may not occur in the life of such, so there is no bitter
irony which may not follow all. The early afternoon of April 6th found the
C.C. on the site of the now camp, surrounded by confusion and an angry
crowd of experts. There had been words and more words; there had only just
not been blows, and all with regard to this wretched and incessant subject
of April 7th. The C.C., never broad-minded on the point, had become
positively ridiculous and tiresome about that irrevocable date, April 7th.
It was a dull subject in any case, said the experts, but in the
circumstances it was inane and cruel to go on insisting on it. R.E.,
Lorries, Signals and all their suites, not having been on too friendly
terms among themselves these latter days, were fast becoming united in
their intense loathing of the C.C. and his everlasting and impossible April
7th.

At this moment the Highest Authority itself arrived on the scene to have a
look at it. He was not in the least discontented with what he saw; he was
inclined to congratulate the experts upon their expedition.

"We shall be hard put to it, Sir," said the C.C., "to be ready for
to-morrow."

"To-morrow?" said the Highest Authority. "Why to-morrow particularly?"

"To-morrow is the 7th, Sir," said the C.C., with sinister emphasis.

"And what about it if it is?" asked the Highest Authority.

"We have