_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Rector's Daughter._ "HOW SPLENDID OF JOE JARVIS'S SON TO
VOLUNTEER FOR THAT VERY DANGEROUS JOB! I'M SO GLAD HE GOT THE MILITARY
MEDAL."

_Mrs. Mullins_ (_not to be outdone_). "YES, MISS. AND _MY_ BOY COULD HAVE
GOT IT TOO IF HE'D CARED TO HAVE TAKEN THE RISK."]

* * * * *

A SLUMP IN MARIONETTES.

"For the first time for centuries the Old Bailey Sessions were opened
on Tuesday without the customary ceremonies connected with the
summoning of a Grand Judy."--_Lincolnshire Echo._

* * * * *

"Too proud to fight" has now become "Proud to fight too."

* * * * *

"'It was between half-past seven and eight,' said a fireman, 'and as I
was off duty I came out on deck for a blow. The force of the explosion
threw me along the deck for some yards.'"--_Daily Paper._

"This is indeed a blow," said the gallant stoker--we _don't_ think.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "HENRY, I WISH YOU WOULD WRITE TO THE URBAN COUNCIL AND TELL
THEM TO SEND A DUSTMAN WHO TURNS HIS TOES _IN_. OUR ROCK BORDER'S BEING
COMPLETELY RUINED!"]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)

I have the feeling that when Mr. RUDYARD KIPLING called his new volume _A
Diversity of Creatures_ (MACMILLAN) he was rather taking the word out of my
mouth, or the sword out of my hand, or whatever one does for the confusion
and discomforting of critics. Because it is just the extreme diversity of
the tales herein which, while providing (as they say) something for all
tastes, makes it very hard to appraise the book as a whole. In form it
follows the KIPLING convention, endeared to us by so much pleasure, of
sandwiching prose and verse, the poems echoing the idea of the tale that
has preceded them, and themselves likely to prove for many the most
attractive pages of the book. As for the stories, here we get diversity
indeed; and not of theme alone. It is, of course, almost impossible for
anything signed by Mr. KIPLING to be wholly commonplace, but I am bound to
admit that there is at least one of the collection (which, pardon me, I do
not mean to name) that makes a notable effort in that direction. Also there
are two of which one can honestly say that no other pen could have written
them with