"He is certain to go to the beach before breakfast to bathe."

"Good. To-morrow, do thy worst, for I have lived to-day. I'll be
there."

* * * * *

"Ukridge," I said, when I got back, "can you give me audience for a
brief space? I want your advice."

This stirred him like a trumpet blast. When a man is in the habit of
giving unsolicited counsel to everyone he meets, it is as invigorating
as an electric shock to him to be asked for it spontaneously.

"What's up, old horse?" he asked eagerly. "I'll tell you what to do.
Get on to it. Bang it out. Here, let's go into the garden."

I approved of this. I can always talk more readily in the dark, and I
did not wish to be interrupted by the sudden entrance of the hired
retainer or Mrs. Beale. We walked down to the paddock. Ukridge lit a
cigar.

"I'm in love, Ukridge," I said.

"What!"

"More--I'm engaged."

A huge hand whistled through the darkness and smote me heavily between
the shoulder blades.

"Thanks," I said; "that felt congratulatory."

"By Jove! old boy, I wish you luck. 'Pon my word, I do. Fancy you
engaged! Best thing in the world for you. Never knew what happiness
was till I married. A man wants a helpmeet--"

"And this man," I said, "seems likely to go on wanting. That's where I
need your advice. I'm engaged to Miss Derrick."

"Miss Derrick!" He spoke as if he hardly knew whom I meant.

"You can't have forgotten her! Good heavens, what eyes some men have!
Why, if I'd only seen her once, I should have remembered her all my
life."

"I know now. She came to dinner here with her father, that fat little
buffer."

"As you were careful to call him at the time. Thereby starting all the
trouble."

"You fished him out of the water afterwards."

"Quite right."

"Why, it's a perfect romance, old horse. It's like the stories you
read."

"And write. But they all end happily. 'There is none, my brave young
preserver, to whom I would more willingly intrust my daughter's
happiness.' Unfortunately, in my little drama, the heavy father seems
likely to forget his cue."

"The old man won't give his consent?"

"Probably not."

"But why? What's the matter with you? If you marry, you'll come into
your uncle's money, and all that."

"True. Affluence stares me in the face."

"And you fished him out of the water."

"After previously chucking him in."

"What!"

"At any rate, by proxy."

I explained. Ukridge, I regret t