finished completeness of
the composition," he said, "shows sheer genius. Just four words. A
word added or subtracted would ruin it."

When Maurice came to and learnt how brilliant he had been he simply
put on his hat and walked round to a Film Agency to say that he was
prepared to write--and complete--any number of masterpieces. Since
that day he has never looked back.

* * * * *

=Commercial Candour.=

"ANTIQUE SILVER.

Mr. ---- invites all interested to inspect his fine stock which he
can offer just new at exceptionally low prices."--_Daily Paper._

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Peggy._ "PLEASE, MISS JUDKIN, MUMMY SAYS WILL YOU
KINDLY LET HER HAVE A LITTLE BRANDY FOR OUR GOAT? IT'S VERY ILL AND
MUMMY IS AFRAID IT'S DYING."

_Miss Judkin._ "TELL YOUR MOTHER I'M VERY SORRY, BUT THE ONLY BRANDY
I'VE GOT IS VERY OLD."

_Peggy._ "OH, THAT WILL DO SPLENDIDLY. IT'S A VERY OLD GOAT."]

* * * * *

THE FAIR.

Look up, my child, the sirens whoop
Shrill invitations to the Fair,
The yellow swing-boats soar and swoop,
The Gavioli organs blare;
Bull-throated show-men, bracken-brown,
Compete to shout each other down.

Behold the booths of gingerbread,
Of nougat and of peppermints,
The stall of toys where overhead
Balloons of gay translucent tints
Float on the breeze and drift and sway;
Fruit of a fairy vine are they.

Within this green fantastic grot
Bright-coloured balls are danced and spun
On jets ("'Ere, lovey, 'ave a shot");
A gipsy lady tends a gun,
A very rose of gipsy girls,
With earrings glinting in her curls.

Will marvels cease? This humble booth
Enshrines a dame of royal birth,
Princess Badrubidure, forsooth,
The fattest princess on the earth;
Come, we will stand where kings have stood,
And you shall pinch her if you're good.

The brasses gleam, the mirrors flash,
How splendid is the Round-About!
The organ brays, the cymbals clash,
The spotted horses bound about
Their whirling platform, full of beans,
And country girls ride by like queens.

Professor Battling Bendigo
(Ex ten-stone champion of the West)
Parades the stage before his show
And swells his biceps and his chest;
"Is England's manhood dead and gone?"
He asks; "Won't no one take me on?"

A big drum booms, revolvers crack;
Wh