ortions it was difficult to arrive at a means by which
the evil could be strangled. Now Fred and Flossy loved each other, and
the lady was just waiting for the gentleman to put the motion, so that
she would have an opportunity to second it.

The thirst-crazed husband and wife, however, were too blind to observe
that anything unusual existed between their two friends, and they
continued to float down that smooth but awful river to destruction.

"Why does she not die?" whispered the demon within the man.

"Why does he not fall into the Thompson and get drowned for
accommodation?" questioned the evil one in the heart of the woman.

At last the eruption became "Vesuvian," and the ashes from the crater
threatened to re-bury Pompeii--we mean Ashcroft. Thoughts of suicide as
the only means of relief bubbled up at intervals.

"Give me love or give me death," they shouted when the fever was at its
highest.

It is impossible to say just how this war would have ended if an
unforeseen neutral incident had not brought an influence to bear which
made a continuation of the conflict an impossible and aimless task.

One day the deaf, and dumb, and blind husband and wife were sitting by
the neutral hearth as far apart as it was possible to be removed and yet
be able to enjoy the friendly heat of the neutral air-tight heater. The
neutral cat jumped up on the husband's knee, but in his belligerent mood
he dashed it to the floor. The wife picked it up and stroked its sleek
fur. The neutral children were out in the garden abusing the flowers and
breaking pickets from the fence; and one had an old saw and was sawing
at the trimmings of the cottage like a woodsman sawing down a cedar at
the coast.

There was rustling of a lady's skirt, and the tramp of hurried feet on
the garden path outside. The next moment the door was pushed open and
Fred and Flossy dashed in, laughing like to split their sides.

"You tell them," said Fred.

"No, you," said Flossy, blushing deeply.

"No, you," said Fred, and he seized Flossy's hand.

"Well, you know, Fred has--" she began.

"To make a long story short," said Fred, "we are to be married, and the
date has been fixed for June."

When Vesuvius buried up Pompeii the people could not have been more
horrified than the belligerent husband and wife. They looked at each
other for the first time in six months. The man pitied the woman, and
cursed himself for crossing swords with her. The woman at once