ood lady; "why, you all seem to be following
the advice of my grandfather Twynintuft,--which was, to let the mind
muddle after dinner. He thought it strengthened the voice,--gave it
_timber_, as he called it. But, ah, dear! in these days so little
attention is paid to elocution that it's of no consequence whatever!"

"I have endeavored, Madam," said Professor Owlsdarck, with great
precision of utterance, "I have endeavored to impress upon my scholars
that Socratic wisdom which condemned books as silent: a testimony, as I
take it, of great importance to those who would perfect the instrument
of oral instruction."

"There is no great elocutionist at the present day," said Mrs.
Widesworth with pious regret.

"And little could we profit by him, if there were," rejoined the
Principal of the Wrexford Academy. "For, in the present excited
condition of our river-towns, men do not strive to copy the moderate
virtues of the Ancients, but only to exaggerate their heathenish
extispicy."

"Ah, very true, very true," sighed Mrs. Widesworth; "only I forget what
that last word means."

"Extispicy," defined the Professor, "is properly the observation of
entrails and divination thereby."

"Yet more is to be learned from bones," said Dr. Dastick, decidedly. "I
hold that the performances of Cuvier alone are conclusive upon that
point."

Colonel Prowley looked doubtful: it would hardly do to question thus
lightly the wisdom of Antiquity.

Here Professor Owlsdarck experienced a queer twitching about the corners
of his mouth,--an affection which since his poetical address before the
Wrexford Trustees had occasionally troubled him.

"At any rate, Colonel," he observed, "we can agree, that, whatever
amount of wisdom the Ancients may have shown in observing the digestive
apparatus of animals, it certainly exceeded that of our modern
philosophers, who are always contemplating their own."

"Truly, I believe you are right," responded Colonel Prowley. "There is
my dear friend Miss Hurribattle, who is always coming to me with some
new cure for people who are perfectly well. At one time Mrs. Romulus
told her that everybody should live on fruits which ripen at least six
feet above-ground,--all roots having an earthy and degrading tendency.
The last recipe for the salvation of society is, to take a little gravel
with our meals, like birds."

Dr. Dastick partly closed his eyes, and said, with some effort,--

"I think that men are befooled