he knew that through the
church door lay the only road to her duty and peace of mind. To see that
the first happy impression had lasted barely half an hour, and instead
of bringing peace, had brought irritation, was cause enough to alarm the
most courageous young woman who ever rushed into the maelstrom of
matrimony.

When they had reached home, she flung herself into a chair and covered
her face with her hands.

"Catherine!" said she solemnly; "what am I to do? I don't like church."

"You would like your's amazingly," said Catherine, "if you had ever been
to mine."

"Was your's worse?"

"If Mrs. Murray hadn't improved my manners so much, I should smile. Was
mine worse? I wish you and Mr. Hazard would try it for a change. Mrs.
Dyer would like to see you both undergoing discipline. Never joke about
serious matters! You had better hold your tongue and be glad to live in
a place where your friends let your soul alone."

"But I can't sit still and hear myself turned into a show! I can't share
him with all Fifth Avenue. I want no one else to have him. To see him
there devoting himself and me to a stupid crowd of people, who have as
much right to him as I have, drives religion out of my head."

Catherine treated this weakness with high contempt.

"I might as well be jealous," said she, "of the people who look at Mr.
Wharton's pictures, or read Petrarch's sonnets in my sweet translation.
Did you ever hear that Laura found fault with Petrarch, or, if she did,
that any one believed she was in earnest?"

"It is not the same thing," said Esther. "He believes in his church more
than he does in me. If I can't believe in it, he will have to give me
up."

"He, give you up!" said Catherine. "The poor saint! You know he is silly
about you."

"He must give me up, if I am jealous of his congregation, and won't
believe what he preaches," replied Esther mournfully.

"Why should you care what he preaches?" asked Catherine; "you never
heard your aunt troubling her head about what Mr. Murray says when he
goes to court."

"She is not forced to go to court with him," said Esther; "nor to be a
mother to all the old women in the court-room; nor to say that she
believes--believes--believes--when in her heart she doesn't believe a
word."

Hazard appeared in the middle of this dispute, and Esther, troubled as
she was, could not bear to distress him. She still meant to accept every
thing and force herself to follow him in silence; s