on relieved his embarrassment; but it is no use to be
courteous to _some_ men in this world. Tubbs belonged to that category.
No sooner did the bumpkin feel himself at ease, than he launched out,
as usual, into tremendous laudations of whalemen; declaring that
whalemen alone deserved the name of sailors. Jack stood it some time;
but when Tubbs came down upon men-of-war, and particularly upon
main-top-men, his sense of propriety was so outraged, that he launched
into Tubbs like a forty-two pounder.

"Why, you limb of Nantucket! you train-oil man! you sea-tallow
strainer! you bobber after carrion! do _you_ pretend to vilify a
man-of-war? Why, you lean rogue, you, a man-of-war is to whalemen, as a
metropolis to shire-towns, and sequestered hamlets. _Here's_ the place
for life and commotion; _here's_ the place to be gentlemanly and jolly.
And what did you know, you bumpkin! before you came on board this
_Andrew Miller?_ What knew you of gun-deck, or orlop, mustering round
the capstan, beating to quarters, and piping to dinner? Did you ever
roll to _grog_ on board your greasy ballyhoo of blazes? Did you ever
winter at Mahon? Did you ever '_ lash and carry?_' Why, what are even a
merchant-seaman's sorry yarns of voyages to China after tea-caddies,
and voyages to the West Indies after sugar puncheons, and voyages to
the Shetlands after seal-skins--what are even these yarns, you Tubbs
you! to high life in a man-of-war? Why, you dead-eye! I have sailed
with lords and marquises for captains; and the King of the Two Sicilies
has passed me, as I here stood up at my gun. Bah! you are full of the
fore-peak and the forecastle; you are only familiar with Burtons and
Billy-tackles; your ambition never mounted above pig-killing! which, in
my poor opinion, is the proper phrase for whaling! Topmates! has not
this Tubbs here been but a misuser of good oak planks, and a vile
desecrator of the thrice holy sea? turning his ship, my hearties! into
a fat-kettle, and the ocean into a whale-pen? Begone! you graceless,
godless knave! pitch him over the top there, White-Jacket!"

But there was no necessity for my exertions. Poor Tubbs, astounded at
these fulminations, was already rapidly descending by the rigging.

This outburst on the part of my noble friend Jack made me shake all
over, spite of my padded surtout; and caused me to offer up devout
thanksgivings, that in no evil hour had I divulged the fact of having
myself served in a whaler; for