ry

What freaks he likes?

NEIGHBOUR

But then, upon the ground

This girl was thrown, and never cried nor frown'd;

You laugh.--

WIFE

Indeed I do, 'twas myself.

NEIGHBOUR

A flannel petticoat display'd the elf.

WIFE

'Twas mine:

NEIGHBOUR

Be patient:--and inform me, pray,

If this were worn by you or her to-day?

There lies the point, for, if you'll me believe,

Your husband did--the most you can conceive.

WIFE

How hard of credence!--'twas myself I vow.

NEIGHBOUR

Oh! that's conclusive; I'll be silent now;

Though truly I am led to think, my eyes

Are pretty sharp, and much I feel surprise

At what you say; in fact, I would have sworn,

I saw them thus at romps this very morn;

Excuse the hint, and do not turn her off.

WIFE

Why, turn her off?--the very thought I scoff;

She serves me well.

NEIGHBOUR

And so it seems is taught;

By all means keep her then, since thus she's thought.

THE AVARICIOUS WIFE AND TRICKING GALLANT

WHO knows the world will never feel surprise,

When men are duped by artful women's eves;

Though death his weapon freely will unfold;

Love's pranks, we find, are ever ruled by gold.

To vain coquettes I doubtless here allude;

But spite of arts with which they're oft endued;

I hope to show (our honour to maintain,)

We can, among a hundred of the train,

Catch one at least, and play some cunning trick:--

For instance, take blithe Gulphar's wily nick,

Who gained (old soldier-like) his ardent aim,

And gratis got an avaricious dame.

LOOK well at this, ye heroes of the sword,

Howe'er with wily freaks your heads be stored,

Beyond a doubt, at court I now could find,

A host of lovers of the Gulphar kind.

To Gasperin's so often went our wight,

The wife at length became his sole delight,

Whose youth and beauty were by all confessed;

But, 'midst these charms, such av'rice she possessed,

The warmest love was checked--a thing not rare,

In modern times at least, among the FAIR.

'Tis true, as I've already said, with such

Sighs naught avail, and promises not much;

Without a purse, who wishes should express,

Would vainly hope to gain a soft caress.

The god of love no other charm employs,

Then cards, and dress, and pleasure's cheering joys;

From whose gay shops more cuckolds we behold,

Than heroes sall