Eternal City, asked the head of the Christian Church,
His Holiness could not tell, perhaps the GRAND SEIGNEUR of Turkey
might. I stepped into a railway steam carriage, swept

[Illustration: Steam Train and Carriage.]

around to the Golden Horn; saw His Sublime Mightiness the PADISHAW,
he

[Page 113--Forty Ways Of Travelling]

said that he had not got one and never heard of it; but when I
described to him, in clear, concise and glowing terms, the real value
of the article to the whole human race, he said that every person
black or white, or brown, or yellow, or red, or any other colour
whatever, in the world, should have one and that it was the duty of
all Kings and Queens and Emperors, and Sultans, and Czars, and
Keizars, and Khedives and Khans, and Shahs, and Ameers, and Deys, and
Beys, and Great Chams, and Grand Lamas, to see that every one of
their subjects obtained one without delay. I said those were exactly
my sentiments; but where was it to be got. He again graciously
assured me that he did not know, bit I might ask the GRAND MUFTI of
Turkey, the fountain of all human knowledge, and custodian of the
sacred Koran. I tore along in a goat-carriage, interviewed the head
of

[Illustration: Riding a Goat-Drawn Carriage.]

the Mahometan Faith; but in answer to my query this Mighty Spiritual
Magnate seemed taken aback; he affirmed that the Koran did not
mention the article, and, therefore, he believed that it could not
exist, but had I made a thorough search for it; had I tried the Dey
of Algiers. I answered no! Had I tried the Doge of Venice--the
Elector of Saxony--the Begum of Oude--the Stadholder of Holland--
the Peishwa of Poona--the Nabob of Bengal--the Caliph of Bagdad--
the Inca of Peru, or the great Mogul. I looked at the Grand Mufti in
speechless astonishment; he might as well have asked me if I had
enquired of Pharaoh or Nebuchadnezzer. I shook my head and rushed
from his presence, completely nonplussed, bewildered, frantic. Where
on earth was I to get the article? I had asked, and asked, and asked
again, and was tired of asking. I had travelled fifty thousand miles
by forty different modes of conveyance; consulted in their own
capitals with thirty secular monarchs, governing three-fourths of the
world; and I had with earnest, respectful enquiry approached the
sacerdotal thrones of the spiritual monarchs of the eleven principal
religions of mankind, and yet I could get no tidings of it. Wha