de and insolent.
Lizzie Letitia Lucretia Lorinda Loeries,
You're the champion of the world for telling stories.
Maud Mary Martha Matilda Moyes,
Sends letters to, and flirts with, naughty boys.
Nancy Nelly Ninette Naomi Nations,
Shame of you to talk 'gainst other girls' relations.
Olive Osberta Orphelia Octavia O'Dyke,
Your conduct is outrageous and unladylike.
Polly Patience Prudence Paulina Pitt,
You really are our champion tell-tale-tit.
Quilla Quintina Quinburga Quendrida Quirk,
How very, very, dirty you have made your fancy-work.
Rose Ruth Rachel Rebecca Ritting,
Now stop that crying and get on with your knitting.
Sarah Sophia Selina Susannah Stacies,
Don't spoil your face by making those grimaces.
Tilda Theresa Tabitha Theodora Tapping,
You'd gain the prize if one was given for slapping.
Una Ursula Urica Urania Urls,
You'd gain the prize for teasing little girls.
Venus Violet Victoria Veronica Vo-shi,
Just learn your task and put away that crochet.
Wilmett Walberg Winefride Wilhelmina Wriggling,
Now once for all do stop that stupid giggling.
Xenodice Xanthippe Xanthisa Xenophona X-cess,
You think and talk of nothing else but dress! dress!
Yana Yulga Yapeena Yestina Young,
Will you behave yourself and just draw in your tongue.
And lastly and worst of all, you,
Zoe Zora Zillah Zenobia Zeen,
How dare you! how dare you!! yes, how dare you!!!
Sneer at the boy's new whipping Machine.

Notice To The Public

If a schoolmistress chooses to live a hundred or a thousand miles
away from her school, she can use the Scolding Machine by means of a
_Telephone_ attached thereto.

One great advantage of the Electro-micro Scolding Machine is, that
after it has been in use a short time the girls will all have been
shamed into good behaviour; but the Machine will not become useless,
as it can, without a farthing outlay, be turned into a Praising
Machine, for it can be made to praise in a gentle voice as well as
scold in a harsh one. In fact, as said above it will repeat in exact
tones, anything that is recited, preached, sung, whistled, whispered,
shouted, scolded or praised into it--and any of which will be heard
for forty miles around.

Cole can supply Scolding Machines from L5 to L50. A very good one
(The Excelsior), price L10, can be charged in one minute, and set
going like a musical box, and will sing, whistle, recite, preach, or
scold away fo