irl thanked me, and I found the Maloney crest for her,
and had the plate made and neatly engraved on a hundred sheets of
paper.

"'Next week the Pointview _Advocate_ will print this item: "Miss
Bridget Maloney, the genial chambermaid of Mrs. Socrates Potter, uses
the Maloney crest on her letter-heads. She is said to be a lineal
descendant of his Grace Bryan Maloney, one of the early dukes of
Ireland."

"'Bridget is haughty, well-mannered, and a neat dresser. She's a
pace-maker in her set. Even the high-headed servants of Warburton
House imitate her hats and gowns.

"'Yesterday Katie O'Neil, one of Mrs. Warburton's maids, came to me
for information as to the heraldry of her house. I found a crest for
Katie; and then came Mary Maginness; and Bertha Schimpfelheim, the
daughter of a real German count; and one August Bernheimer, a young
barber of baronial blood; and Pietro Cantaveri, our prosperous
bootblack, who was the grandson of an Italian countess; and so it
goes, and soon all the high-born servers of Pointview will be supplied
with armorial bearings.

"'These claims to distinction shall be soberly chronicled in the
_Advocate_. Not one is to be overlooked or treated with any lack of
respect. On the contrary, the whole thing will be exploited with a
proper sense of awe.'

"Marie laughed.

"'Wait till I tell mama,' she said. 'It's lucky you told me. It's
saved us. I guess grandfather was right about that.'

"'And he's right about Harry, too,' I said. 'But don't despair; I'm
trying to put a new mainspring in the boy. If I succeed, your
grandfather may have to change his mind.'

"She went away comforted, but not happy.

"Well, I went on with the crest campaign. Bertha, Pietro, and the
others got their crests and saw their names in the paper.

"The supply of crests was soon perfectly adequate, and among our best
people the demand for them began to diminish, and suddenly ceased. The
beast rampant and couchant, the helmet and the battle-ax, associated
only with mixed tenses and misplaced capitals according to their
ancient habit. This chambermaid grammar was referred to by my friend,
Dr. Guph, as the 'battle-ax brand'--a designation of some merit.
Expensive stationery fell into the fireplaces of Pointview, and
armorial plates were found in the garbage. The family trees of the
village were deserted. Not a bird twittered in their branches. The
subject of genealogy was buried in deep silence, save when the
irrevere