table. At the close of the first day the
squire entertained his wealthy neighbor and the arbitrator at dinner.
In accordance with the host's means, the dinner was modest but
sufficient. It consisted of three fried soles, a roast leg of mutton,
and vegetables; three pancakes, three pieces of cheese, three small
loaves of bread, ale, and a bottle of sherry. On the removal of the
viands, three magnificent apples, together with a magnum of port, were
placed on the table by way of dessert. At the close of the second day
the trio dined at the baronet's table, when it appeared that, struck by
the simplicity of the previous day's dinner, and rightly attributing the
absence of luxuries to the narrowness of the host's purse, the wealthy
disputant had resolved not to attempt to influence the umpire by giving
him a superior repast. Sitting at another table the trio dined on
exactly the same fare,--three fried soles, a roast leg of mutton, and
vegetables; three pancakes, three pieces of cheese, three small loaves
of bread, ale, and a bottle of sherry; and for dessert three magnificent
apples, together with a magnum of port. The dinner being over, the
apples devoured, and the last glass of port drunk, the arbitrator (his
eyes twinkling brightly as he spoke) introduced his award with the
following exordium:--"Gentlemen, I have with all proper attention
considered your _sole_ reasons: I have taken due notice of your _joint_
reasons, and I have come to the conclusion that your _des(s)erts_ are
about equal."

[17] Of these renderings the subjoined may be taken as favorable
specimens:--"Breve originale, original sinne; capias, a catch to a sad
tune; alias capias, another to the same (sad tune); habeas corpus, a
trooper; capias ad satisfaciend., a hangman: latitat, bo-peep; nisi
prius, first come first served; demurrer, hum and haw; scandal. magnat.,
down with the Lords."

[18] Even vacations stink in the nostrils of Mr. Rogers; for he
maintains that they are not so much periods when lawyers cease from
their odious practices, as times of repose and recreation wherein they
gain fresh vigor and daring for the commission of further outrages, and
allow their unhappy victims to acquire just enough wealth to render them
worth the trouble of despoiling.

CHAPTER XVII.

CHIEF JUSTICE POPHAM.

One of the strangest cases of corruption amongst English Judges still
remains to be told on the slender authority which is the sole foundation