2 0
For beating officials connected with gaols 3 3 0
For slashing and hacking valuable pictures,
from 7 7 0
For bombs not intended to explode 8 8 0
For burning down a house, according to value
and social position of owner, from 10 0 0
For insulting exalted Personages, per insult 10 10 0
For burning down a modern red-brick
church 15 15 0
For burning down a specially valuable and
interesting ancient one (eleventh and
twelfth centuries extra) 21 0 0
For bombs warranted to destroy an ordinary
church. 30 0 0
For bombs suited to wreck really superior
Buildings, such as Westminster Abbey
and St. Paul's 50 0 0
For disturbing public meetings and the
general harassing and annoyance of all
peaceable and decent people No charge.

Bangham Smasher, Burnham Blazer & Co. beg to assume their patrons that
all the choppers, hammers, bombs, stones, etc., employed in their
business are of the very best quality, and only refined paraffin and wax
matches will be used in burning down any building.

Being in a position to offer such exceptional advantages they trust to
receive a large measure of support in their elevating and enlightening
work.

If none of the above is found suitable to the needs of intending
clients, a further list of assorted outrages will be supplied on
application.

* * * * *

LOVE'S LOGIC.

My happiness is in another's keeping,
My heart delivered to a maiden's care,
And she can cast it down or set it leaping
(The latter process is extremely rare);
Ah, would that love indeed had made me blind,
That I might put her image out of mind!

Yet if I looked at her with eyes unseeing
Her voice and laughter would not pass unheard;
I should not be a reasonable being,
I still should tremble at her lightest word;
How could I then gain freedom from the spell
Unless I turned completely deaf as well?

So, blind and deaf, I might perhaps recover
A partial peace of mind, but all in vain,
For memories pursue the luckless lover,
And only death can ease him of his pain.
Thus, having proved that I were better dead,
I think I'll go and talk to her instead.