* * * * *

"Gentleman, middle aged, would be glad of a few correspondents
(40 to 60)."

_T. P.'s Weekly._

Too Many.

* * * * *

THE SILENT CHARMER.

[Speaking of flowers a contemporary recently remarked:--"These
careless-looking creatures filling the air with delight, robbing
tired brains of tiredness, are a delicate texture of coloured
effort that has prevailed out of a thousand chances, aided in
all that effort by man. Without man they would be but weeds--a
profusion of Nature's quantity."]

My dearest Thomas, I would not
Deny the fact that you are clever;
You've taught Dame Nature what is what
At horticultural endeavour
(She has not got that useful thing,
The shilling book of gardening).

She has her merits, but, of course,
Her wild attempts won't stand comparing
With such a floral _tour de force_
As that geranium you are wearing;
Yon chosen emblem of your skill
Must surely make her wilder still.

But give me Nature; when we meet
She does not prattle of her posies,
Dull facts of what begonias eat,
The dietetic fads of roses,
And how she strove with spade and spud.
Or nipped the green fly on the bud.

'Tis she that really soothes the brain,
Spreading her weeds in bright profusion,
And never troubling to explain
How much they owe to her collusion,
While, Thomas, _your_ achievements seem
To be your one and only theme.

* * * * *

Mr. J. C. Parke, writing in _The Strand Magazine_ on the best way to
beat Wilding, says:--

"Personally, after close observation and from playing against
him, I would suggest a determined attack on the champion's
forehead from the base-line."

That ought to learn him.

* * * * *

"His Majesty has been pleased to confer the dignity of an
Earldom of the United Kingdom upon Field-Marshal the Viscount
Kitchener of Khartoum, P.G.C., B.O.M.G.C., S.I.G.C.M.,
G.G.C.I.E."

_Newcastle Daily Journal._

The old orders change, yielding place to new.

* * * * *

From a magazine cover:--

"This magazine has been the turning point in many a man's
career. Spend twopence and half-an-hour on it.... Price
Threepence."

We would rather pay the threepence.

* *