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merriment, It may be, I yield nutriment! Meeting you in times past by chance, Warmth I imagined in your glance, But, knowing not the actual truth, Restrained the impulses of youth; Also my wretched liberty I would not part with finally; This separated us as well-- Lenski, unhappy victim, fell, From everything the heart held dear I then resolved my heart to tear; Unknown to all, without a tie, I thought--retirement, liberty, Will happiness replace. My God! How I have erred and felt the rod! No, ever to behold your face, To follow you in every place, Your smiling lips, your beaming eyes, To watch with lovers' ecstasies, Long listen, comprehend the whole Of your perfections in my soul, Before you agonized to die-- This, this were true felicity! But such is not for me. I brood Daily of love in solitude. My days of life approach their end, Yet I in idleness expend The remnant destiny concedes, And thus each stubbornly proceeds. I feel, allotted is my span; But, that life longer may remain, At morn I must assuredly Know that thy face that day I see. I tremble lest my humble prayer You with stern countenance declare The artifice of villany-- I hear your harsh, reproachful cry. If ye but knew how dreadful 'tis To bear love's parching agonies-- To burn, yet reason keep awake The fever of the blood to slake-- A passionate desire to bend And, sobbing at your feet, to blend Entreaties, woes and prayers, confess All that the heart would fain express-- Yet with a feigned frigidity To arm the tongue and e'en the eye, To be in conversation clear And happy unto you appear. So be it! But internal strife I cannot longer wage concealed. The die is cast! Thine is my life! Into thy hands my fate I yield! XXXII No answer! He another sent. Epistle second, note the third, Remained unnoticed. Once he went To an assembly--she appeared Just as he entered. How severe! She will not see, she will not hear. Alas! she is as hard, behold, And frosty as a Twelfth Night cold. Oh, how her lips compressed restrain The indignation of her heart! A sidelong look doth Eugene dart: Where, where, remorse, compassion, pain? Where, where, the trace of tears? None, none! Upon her brow sits wrath alone-- XXXIII And it may be a secret dread Lest the world or her lord divine A certain little escapade Well known unto Oneguine mine. 'Tis hopeless! Homeward doth he flee Cursing his own stupidity, And brooding o'er
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