Why did
Alice-Sit-By-the-Fire?" that the sudden happy answer occurred to him,
"Because Mary Rose."

* * * * *

P.S.--I forgot to say that Lady DIANA DUFF-COOPER frequently comes down
here. Or, at any rate, if she doesn't, I shall say she does, because I
always mention her in my paragraphs.

V.

* * * * *

MY STRONG SUIT.

Not for me the profiteer's
Lucky hauls,
But a prospect of lean years
That appals;
Yet, although I dimly grope
On an ever downward slope,
I espy one gleam of hope--
Overalls.

When the experts prophesy
Further squalls,
And my income, never high,
Falls and falls,
Then the twenty-guinea suit
Is to me forbidden fruit,
But I cordially salute
Overalls.

Not to mention other woes,
Other calls,
Paying tailors through the nose
Greatly galls;
So farewell, expensive tweeds,
Though my manly bosom bleeds,
For the situation needs
Overalls.

* * * * *

"NURSERY Governess (not over 40) wanted for three children, girl 10
years, twins (boy 2, girl 8)."--_Times._

Oh, gemini!

* * * * *

[Illustration: MANNERS AND MODES.

THE HARDENING EFFECTS OF WAR.

IF THE BRONTOSAURUS CAME TO LONDON.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Mrs. Smythe de Willoughby._ "WAS THE GROCER'S BOY IMPUDENT
AGAIN THIS MORNING, CLARA, WHEN YOU TELEPHONED THE ORDER?"

_Clara._ "'E WAS, MUM! BUT I DIDN'T 'ARF GIVE 'IM WOT FOR. I SEZ, 'WHO
D'YER BLINKIN' WELL THINK YOU'RE A-TALKIN' TO? I'M MRS. SMYTHE DER
WILLOUGHBY!"]

* * * * *

ELIZABETH AND HER YOUNG MAN.

The study door burst open and one end of Elizabeth--the articulate end--was
jerked into view.

"Wot will you 'ave for lunch?" she demanded breathlessly. "Lamb or 'am?"

Abruptly recalled from the realms of fiction-writing, I (her mistress)
looked up a little dazed. "'Lamb or 'am,'" I repeated dully, "lamorram?
Er--ram, I think, please, Elizabeth."

Having thus disposed of my domestic obligations for the day I returned to
my writing. I was annoyed therefore to see the other end of Elizabeth
travel round the doorway and sidle into the room. Her pretext for
entering--that of dusting the roll-top desk with her apron--was a little
thin, for she has not the slightest ob