y to join
the silent Navy. And nearly the whole of a dinner service was sacrificed
when LLOYD GEORGE peremptorily ordered her young man in the New Army to go
to Mesopotamia and stay there for at least three years without leave.

You will now understand why I was dejected at the perfidy of the follower
belonging to the Boilermakers' Society. I saw a dreary period of discomfort
ahead of me. And worst of all I was expecting the Boscombes to dinner that
very week. They had not before visited us and Henry was anxious, for
business reasons, to make a good impression on them. I will not elaborate
the case. All I can say is that there is no earthly possibility of making a
good impression on any living thing if Elizabeth is in one of her bad
moods. And it would be no use explaining the situation to Mrs. Boscombe,
because she has no sense of humour; or to Mr. Boscombe, because he likes a
good dinner.

Finally, the Domestic Bureau failed me. Hitherto they had always been able
to supply me with a temporary waitress on the occasion of dinner-parties.
Now it appeared these commodities had become pearls of great price which
could no longer be cast before me and mine (at the modest fee of ten
shillings a night) without at least fourteen days' notice.

The Bureau promised to do its best for me, of course, but reminded me that
women were scarce. I asked, with bitterness, what had become of the surplus
million we heard so much about. They replied with politeness that, judging
from the number of applications received, they must be the million in
search of domestics.

Returning home from the Bureau I found Elizabeth studying a time-table. "I
see it's a hundred and eighty-three miles to Manchester," she commented,
"an' the fare's 15_s._ 5-1/2_d._"

"That's an old time-table you've got," I hastened to remark; "it is now L2
6_s._ 4-1/2_d._--return fare."

"I shan't want no return ticket," said Elizabeth grimly.

Sickening outlook, wasn't it?

* * * * *

The day of my dinner-party dawned fair and bright, but Elizabeth was
raging. Things got so bad in fact that about mid-day I decided I must
telephone to the Boscombes and tell them Henry had suddenly been taken ill;
and I was just looking up the doctor's book to find something specially
virulent and infectious for Henry when Elizabeth came in. Amazing to
relate, her face was wreathed in smiles.

"They've sent from the Domestic Boorow," she began.

"Wha