dozen kisses his back might receive from the cat in return. While he was
absorbed in this pleasing speculation, Lady Hercules was pouring out
anathemas against my mother's want of delicacy and decency, informing
her that it was impossible she could submit the decoration of her person
to one who has so contaminated herself with a tobacco-chewing
seaman--who was all pigtail within and without; for, as the Scripture
says, "Who can touch pitch without being defiled?"

Although my mother had made up her mind that if it was to be a question
between a place and a husband, she should decide upon retaining the
latter, still she thought it advisable, if it were possible, to
conciliate my lady. She therefore pulled out a cambric handkerchief, and
while her ladyship scolded, she covered up her face and wept. Lady
Hercules continued to scold until she was out of breath, and thereby
compelled to stop. My mother then replied, with deep humility and many
tears, "that indeed she had been so persuaded (sob) that she at last
promised to (sob) marry; but only on one condition--yes, indeed--(sob)
that her ladyship gave her consent--positively on no other (sob)--no,
indeed, upon her honor! Mr. Saunders was--(sob)--excellent young
man--(sob), so attached to Sir Hercules (sob), and had such a great
respect for her ladyship, that--(sob--sob--sob)--he had won her heart."

By this time her ladyship had regained her breath, and she interrupted
my mother by pointing out to her, that allowing all she said to be
correct, yet still that was no reason why she should allow such indecent
liberties; that Sir Hercules had never obtained such favors from her
until after the ring had been put on her finger. Then, indeed, such
things might be--that is, occasionally; but the kitchen of all
places!--And, besides, how did she know how many wives the coxswain had
already? She shouldn't be surprised, if, with that long pigtail of his,
he had five at least--nay, perhaps, six or seven. Here my mother
replied that "it was out of gratitude to her (sob) for having consented
to permit him to (sob) speak to Sir Hercules (sob), who would plead with
her ladyship (sob), which had occasioned Mr. Saunders (sob) to
take--such--a--liberty (sob--sob--sob)--which he had never--done
before--(sob)--No!--never--upon her honor--never!--" And here my
mother's sobs choked her utterance.

This explanation somewhat pacified, and a little subsequent humility and
flattery gained the mi