trains that stop at Ocean Grove, New Jersey.

"One night when I beat Paisley to the bench by one pipeful, my
friendship gets subsidised for a minute, and I asks Mrs. Jessup if she
didn't think a 'H' was easier to write than a 'J.' In a second her
head was mashing the oleander flower in my button-hole, and I leaned
over and--but I didn't.

"'If you don't mind,' says I, standing up, 'we'll wait for Paisley to
come before finishing this. I've never done anything dishonourable yet
to our friendship, and this won't be quite fair.'

"'Mr. Hicks,' says Mrs. Jessup, looking at me peculiar in the dark,
'if it wasn't for but one thing, I'd ask you to hike yourself down
the gulch and never disresume your visits to my house.'

"'And what is that, ma'am?' I asks.

"'You are too good a friend not to make a good husband,' says she.

"In five minutes Paisley was on his side of Mrs. Jessup.

"'In Silver City, in the summer of '98,' he begins, 'I see Jim
Batholomew chew off a Chinaman's ear in the Blue Light Saloon on
account of a crossbarred muslin shirt that--what was that noise?'

"I had resumed matters again with Mrs. Jessup right where we had left
off.

"'Mrs. Jessup,' says I, 'has promised to make it Hicks. And this is
another of the same sort.'

"Paisley winds his feet round a leg of the bench and kind of groans.

"'Lem,' says he, 'we been friends for seven years. Would you mind not
kissing Mrs. Jessup quite so loud? I'd do the same for you.'

"'All right,' says I. 'The other kind will do as well.'

"'This Chinaman,' goes on Paisley, 'was the one that shot a man named
Mullins in the spring of '97, and that was--'

"Paisley interrupted himself again.

"'Lem,' says he, 'if you was a true friend you wouldn't hug Mrs.
Jessup quite so hard. I felt the bench shake all over just then. You
know you told me you would give me an even chance as long as there was
any.'

"'Mr. Man,' says Mrs. Jessup, turning around to Paisley, 'if you was
to drop in to the celebration of mine and Mr. Hicks's silver wedding,
twenty-five years from now, do you think you could get it into that
Hubbard squash you call your head that you are _nix cum rous_ in this
business? I've put up with you a long time because you was Mr. Hicks's
friend; but it seems to me it's time for you to wear the willow and
trot off down the hill.'

"'Mrs. Jessup,' says I, without losing my grasp on the situation as
fiance, 'Mr. Paisley is my friend, and I offered hi