ld make him furious; he would blow me
sky-high." "Well," I replied, "suppose he did go into a regular tantrum
and use all the most startling expletives in the vocabulary for fifteen
minutes! What is that compared with a good stove 365 days in the year?
Just put all he could say on one side, and all the advantages you would
enjoy on the other, and you must readily see that his wrath would kick
the beam." As my logic was irresistible, she said, "Well, if you will go
with me, and help select a stove, I think I will take the
responsibility."

Accordingly we went to the hardware store and selected the most
approved, largest-sized stove, with all the best cooking utensils, best
Russian pipe, etc. "Now," said she, "I am in equal need of a good stove
in my sitting room, and I would like the pipes of both stoves to lead
into dumb stoves above, and thus heat two or three rooms upstairs for my
children to play in, as they have no place except the sitting room,
where they must be always with me; but I suppose it is not best to do
too much at one time." "On the contrary," I replied, "as your husband is
wealthy, you had better get all you really need now. Mr. S. will
probably be no more surprised with two stoves than with one, and, as you
expect a hot scene over the matter, the more you get out of it the
better."

So the stoves and pipes were ordered, holes cut through the ceiling, and
all were in working order next day. The cook was delighted over her
splendid stove and shining tins, copper-bottomed tea kettle and boiler,
and warm sleeping room upstairs; the children were delighted with their
large playrooms, and madam jubilant with her added comforts and that
newborn feeling of independence one has in assuming responsibility.

She was expecting Mr. S. home in the holidays, and occasionally weakened
at the prospect of what she feared might be a disagreeable encounter. At
such times she came to consult with me, as to what she would say and do
when the crisis arrived. Having studied the _genus homo_ alike on the
divine heights of exaltation and in the valleys of humiliation, I was
able to make some valuable suggestions.

"Now," said I, "when your husband explodes, as you think he will,
neither say nor do anything; sit and gaze out of the window with that
far-away, sad look women know so well how to affect. If you can summon
tears at pleasure, a few would not be amiss; a gentle shower, not enough
to make the nose and eyes red or to