r be likely
to say 'll be used in evidence against you.

SERGEANT
An' anythin' that you say or don't say may be used
in evidence against you.

HEAD (_enraged_)
Sergeant Dooley!

SERGEANT (_coolly_)
Yes, Head.

HEAD
Do you know that y'er addressin' y'er superior officer?

SERGEANT
The less said about superiority the better.

HEAD
You can't deny that I found you drinkin' on these
licensed premises while on duty.

SERGEANT
I might as well tell you candidly that you have no
more chance o' frightenin' me or desaivin' me than
you have of catchin' whales in Casey's duck-pond.

HEAD (_passionately_)
I'll--I'll--I--

SERGEANT
You'll have a drink from me, an' we'll say no more
about the matter. I wouldn't blame any man for
takin' a drop a cold night like this. I suppose 'twill
be "Wise's" the same as the last? That's if me sense
o' smell isn't out of order.

HEAD (_crestfallen, blows his breath on the palm of his
hand and looks at the Sergeant_) Is it as bad as that?

SERGEANT
I smelt it the instant I came in, an' wondered where
'twas comin' from.

HEAD
I only took it to avoid catchin' cold.

SERGEANT
Just like meself. We must avoid catchin' cold at any
cost. (_To Mrs. Cotter_) Two glasses o' "Wise's,"
ma'am."

[_Exit Mrs. Cotter_.

SERGEANT (_to Head_)
Wait, an' I'll wipe that black spot off ye'r nose.

[_He does so. Enter Mrs. Cotter_.

MRS. COTTER (_handing drinks_)
The fire up-stairs is blazing away, an' there's no one
sittin' by it.

HEAD
We're all right. (_Holding glass_) Here's long life to us!

SERGEANT
Health an' prosperity!

HEAD (_after finishing drink_)
We must have another, for I'm not feelin' too well,
an' 'tis better be on the safe side. 'Twas through
neglect that some o' the best min died.

SERGEANT
We must not forget that!

HEAD (_to Mrs. Cotter_)
The same again, Mrs. Cotter.

[_Exit Mrs. Cotter with glasses_.

HEAD
I saw be the papers last night that the Royal Irish
Constabulary are the finest in the world.

SERGEANT
Sure every one knows that!

HEAD
I wonder what kind are all the others?

SERGEANT
That's what I'd like to know.

MRS. COTTER (_at door_)
Will I bring them up to the sittin'-room, gentlemen?

HEAD
We're first class as we are, ma'am.

[_Mrs. Cotter hands the glasses and a loud knock is
heard at the door_.

MRS. COTTER
Who's there?

VOICE
Police!

HEAD
'Tis the constable!

SERGEANT
The bla'gard surely!

HEAD
What'll we do?