ngers, have on their hands occupation enough, and enough on the
hooks for their venison. There may they follow their prey; here is no
garbage for them. You pettifoggers, garblers, and masters of chicanery,
speak not to me, I beseech you, in the name of, and for the reverence you
bear to the four hips that engendered you and to the quickening peg which
at that time conjoined them. As for hypocrites, much less; although they
were all of them unsound in body, pockified, scurvy, furnished with
unquenchable thirst and insatiable eating. (And wherefore?) Because
indeed they are not of good but of evil, and of that evil from which we
daily pray to God to deliver us. And albeit we see them sometimes
counterfeit devotion, yet never did old ape make pretty moppet. Hence,
mastiffs; dogs in a doublet, get you behind; aloof, villains, out of my
sunshine; curs, to the devil! Do you jog hither, wagging your tails, to
pant at my wine, and bepiss my barrel? Look, here is the cudgel which
Diogenes, in his last will, ordained to be set by him after his death, for
beating away, crushing the reins, and breaking the backs of these bustuary
hobgoblins and Cerberian hellhounds. Pack you hence, therefore, you
hypocrites, to your sheep-dogs; get you gone, you dissemblers, to the
devil! Hay! What, are you there yet? I renounce my part of Papimanie, if
I snatch you, Grr, Grrr, Grrrrrr. Avaunt, avaunt! Will you not be gone?
May you never shit till you be soundly lashed with stirrup leather, never
piss but by the strapado, nor be otherwise warmed than by the bastinado.
THE THIRD BOOK.
Chapter 3.I.
How Pantagruel transported a colony of Utopians into Dipsody.
Pantagruel, having wholly subdued the land of Dipsody, transported
thereunto a colony of Utopians, to the number of 9,876,543,210 men, besides
the women and little children, artificers of all trades, and professors of
all sciences, to people, cultivate, and improve that country, which
otherwise was ill inhabited, and in the greatest part thereof but a mere
desert and wilderness; and did transport them (not) so much for the
excessive multitude of men and women, which were in Utopia multiplied, for
number, like grasshoppers upon the face of the land. You understand well
enough, nor is it needful further to explain it to you, that the Utopian
men had so rank and fruitful genitories, and that the Utopian women carried
matrixes so ample, so gluttonous, so tenaciously
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