her the way we do. There's some exports it doesn't pay to advertise, I
guess, and she and her sister are that kind. Every time they laugh I
can see that Lady Erkskine shrivel up like a sensitive plant. I hope she
don't think all American girls are like those two."

"She probably does."

"Well, IF she does she's makin' a big mistake. I might as well believe
all Englishmen were like this specimen comin' now, and I don't believe
that, even if I do hail from Bayport."

The specimen was the "Duke of Labrador," who sauntered by, monocle in
eye, hands in pockets and an elaborate affection of the "Oxford stoop"
which he must have spent time and effort in acquiring. Hephzibah shook
her head.

"I wish Toronto was further from home than it is," she declared. "But
there! I shan't worry about him. I'll leave him for Lord Erkskine and
his wife to be ashamed of. He's their countryman, or he hopes he is.
I've got enough to do bein' ashamed of those two American girls."

It may be gathered from these conversations that Hephzy and I had been
so fortunate as to obtain a table by ourselves. This was not the case.
There were four seats at our table and, according to the chart of the
dining-saloon, one of them should be occupied by a "Miss Rutledge of New
York" and the other by "A. Carleton Heathcroft of London." Miss Rutledge
we had not seen at all. Our table steward informed us that the lady was
"hindisposed" and confined to her room. She was an actress, he added.
Hephzy, whose New England training had imbued her with the conviction
that all people connected with the stage must be highly undesirable
as acquaintances, was quite satisfied. "Of course I'm sorry she isn't
well," she confided to me "but I'm awfully glad she won't be at our
table. I shouldn't want to hurt her feelin's, but I couldn't talk to her
as I would to an ordinary person. I COULDN'T! All I should be able to
think of was what she wore, or didn't wear, when she was actin' her
parts. I expect I'm old-fashioned, but when I think of those girls
in the pictures outside that theater--the one we didn't go
to--I--well--mercy!"

The "pictures" were the posters advertising a popular musical comedy
which Campbell had at first suggested our witnessing the afternoon of
our stay in New York. Hephzibah's shocked expression and my whispered
advice had brought about a change of plans. We saw a perfectly
respectable, though thrilling, melodrama instead. I might have
relieved my relat