" He seemed to hesitate, but some
uneasy forebodings on his own account, probably, prevailed over his
resentment; or, perhaps (as philosophers have a desire to know the cause
of thunder) it was a natural curiosity to know what circumstances of
provocation had given rise to such an extraordinary scene of confusion.
When we reached my room, I requested him to be seated. I said, "It is
true, Sir, I have lost my peace of mind for ever, but at present I am
quite calm and collected, and I wish to explain to you why I have
behaved in so extravagant a way, and to ask for your advice and
intercession." He appeared satisfied, and I went on. I had no chance
either of exculpating myself, or of probing the question to the bottom,
but by stating the naked truth, and therefore I said at once, "Sarah
told me, Sir (and I never shall forget the way in which she told me,
fixing her dove's eyes upon me, and looking a thousand tender reproaches
for the loss of that good opinion, which she held dearer than all the
world) she told me, Sir, that as you one day passed the door, which
stood a-jar, you saw her in an attitude which a good deal startled you;
I mean sitting in my lap, with her arms round my neck, and mine twined
round her in the fondest manner. What I wished to ask was, whether this
was actually the case, or whether it was a mere invention of her own, to
enhance the sense of my obligations to her; for I begin to doubt
everything?"--"Indeed, it was so; and very much surprised and hurt I was
to see it." "Well then, Sir, I can only say, that as you saw her
sitting then, so she had been sitting for the last year and a half,
almost every day of her life, by the hour together; and you may judge
yourself, knowing what a nice modest-looking girl she is, whether, after
having been admitted to such intimacy with so sweet a creature, and for
so long a time, it is not enough to make any one frantic to be received
by her as I have been since my return, without any provocation given or
cause assigned for it." The old man answered very seriously, and, as I
think, sincerely, "What you now tell me, Sir, mortifies and shocks me as
much as it can do yourself. I had no idea such a thing was possible. I
was much pained at what I saw; but I thought it an accident, and that it
would never happen again."--"It was a constant habit; it has happened a
hundred times since, and a thousand before. I lived on her caresses as
my daily food, nor can I live