ioned, I felt the matter one
of a personal concern; and I drew near to listen, when I could do so,
without seeming too solicitous and prying. There was HOPE in those
words. Ever and anon, too, I could see some terrible denunciation of
slavery, in our papers--copied from abolition papers at the north--and
the injustice of such denunciation commented on. These I read with
avidity.{129} I had a deep satisfaction in the thought, that the
rascality of slaveholders was not concealed from the eyes of the world,
and that I was not alone in abhorring the cruelty and brutality of
slavery. A still deeper train of thought was stirred. I saw that
there was _fear_, as well as _rage_, in the manner of speaking of the
abolitionists. The latter, therefore, I was compelled to regard as
having some power in the country; and I felt that they might, possibly,
succeed in their designs. When I met with a slave to whom I deemed
it safe to talk on the subject, I would impart to him so much of the
mystery as I had been able to penetrate. Thus, the light of this grand
movement broke in upon my mind, by degrees; and I must say, that,
ignorant as I then was of the philosophy of that movement, I believe in
it from the first--and I believed in it, partly, because I saw that it
alarmed the consciences of slaveholders. The insurrection of Nathaniel
Turner had been quelled, but the alarm and terror had not subsided. The
cholera was on its way, and the thought was present, that God was angry
with the white people because of their slaveholding wickedness, and,
therefore, his judgments were abroad in the land. It was impossible for
me not to hope much from the abolition movement, when I saw it supported
by the Almighty, and armed with DEATH!

Previous to my contemplation of the anti-slavery movement, and its
probable results, my mind had been seriously awakened to the subject of
religion. I was not more than thirteen years old, when I felt the need
of God, as a father and protector. My religious nature was awakened by
the preaching of a white Methodist minister, named Hanson. He thought
that all men, great and small, bond and free, were sinners in the sight
of God; that they were, by nature, rebels against His government; and
that they must repent of their sins, and be reconciled to God, through
Christ. I cannot say that I had a very distinct notion of what was
required of me; but one thing I knew very well--I was wretched, and had
no means of making mysel