ead weight.

He wore no hat. His clothing was in a shocking condition, damp,
shapeless and shrunken to such an extent as to disclose exhibits of bony
wrists and ankles almost immodestly generous. On his bird-like cranium
the pale, smooth scalp shone pink through scanty, matted, damp blond
locks. His face was drawn, pinched and pale. As if new to the light his
baby-blue eyes blinked furiously. Round his thin lips hovered his
habitual smile, semi-sardonic, semi-sheepish.

"Do you mind telling me how in thunder you got in here?" asked Staff
courteously.

Iff waved a hand toward the bedroom.

"Fire-escape," he admitted wearily. "Happened to see your light and
thought I'd call. Hope I don't intrude.... Got anything to drink? I'm
about all in."

IX

A LIKELY STORY

"If I'm any judge, _that's_ no exaggeration." Thus Mr. Staff after a
moment's pause which he utilised to look Mr. Iff over with a critical
eye.

Mr. Iff wagged his head. "Believe _me_," said he simply.

Staff fetched a decanter of Scotch and a glass, placing them on the
table by Iff's elbow, then turned away to get a siphon of charged water
from the icebox. But by the time he was back a staggering amount of
whiskey had disappeared from the decanter, a moist but empty glass stood
beside it, and Mr. Iff was stroking smiling lips with his delicate,
claw-like fingers. He discontinued this occupation long enough to wave
the siphon away.

"Not for me," he said tersely. "I've swallowed enough water this night
to last me for the rest of my life--half of the North River, more or
less; rather more, if you ask me."

"What were you doing in the North River?"

"Swimming."

This answer was evidently so adequate in Mr. Iff's understanding that he
made no effort to elaborate upon it; so that presently, growing
impatient, Staff felt called upon to ask:

"Well? What were you swimming for?"

"Dear life," said Iff--"life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness: the
incontestable birthright of every freeborn American citizen--if you must
know."

He relapsed into a reverie which seemed hugely diverting from the
reminiscent twinkle in the little man's eyes. From this he emerged long
enough to remark: "That's prime whiskey, you know.... Thanks very much,
I will." And again fell silent, stroking his lips.

"I don't want to seem to pry," said Staff at length, with elaborate
irony; "but in view of the fact that you've felt warranted in calling on
me via the fir