ll the things we was to renounce in this
world, an' about the 'orrible fire as was awaitin' us in the next if
we didn't follow 'is advice. After the service Mr. Short comes up to
me an' asks me to stay on after the others. Blowed if 'e didn't keep
me till twelve o'clock jawin' me about the dooties my noo faith
brought me an' about wot I read an' 'oo I talked to. By the time I
got away from 'im I was 'arf stunned; an' I 'ad to go again in the
evenin'!

"Every blinkin' Sunday the same thing 'appened. I used to spend the
'ole week swearin' and sendin' Short an' Wesley to the 'ottest place
in the world. Once I tried on not goin' to chapel; but the miserable
old 'ound split on me to the colonel, an' I 'ad a week's pay stopped.
Then that there blessed Congregation invented Friday evenin'
lectures; and the converted soldier, sent by kind permission of the
colonel, was the finest ornament they 'ad.

"Well, wot put an end to my patience was a month later, when Short
'ad the cheek to jaw me personally about the girl I was walkin' out
with. I went clean mad then, an' was ready for anythink, even for
'avin' it out again with Bill, rather than put up with that maniac's
talk.

"'Please, sir,' I tells the colonel, 'I'm sorry to trouble you again
with my religion, but this 'ere Wesleyanism don't satisfy me at all.
It ain't a bit wot I'd 'oped for.'

"I expected to get jolly well strafed, but I didn't. Bill just looked
at me with a smile.

"'That's all right, Brommit,' 'e said; 'the Government pays me for
looking after the moral health of my men. And may I inquire what
religion is at present enjoying the favour of your approval?'

"'Well, sir, I don't see none at all. I've made myself a sort o'
religion o' my own--if you'll allow it, of course.'

"'I? Why, it's none of _my_ business, Brommit. On the contrary, I
admire the vitality of your mind. You've evidently got beliefs of
your own; that's a very good sign indeed. It's just that they will
not admit the obligation of going to a place of public worship on a
Sunday, that's all. I presume I am taking you correctly?'

"'Yes, sir, quite correctly.'

"'What an admirable coincidence, Brommit! For a long time I've been
looking for somebody to scrub the stairs thoroughly on Sundays, while
the men are at church. Sergeant-major, put Brommit down as an
Agnostic--on permanent fatigue for scrubbing the stairs on Sunday
mornings.'"

CHAPTER XI

JUSTICE

The D.M.S. had sent