vent men from being
jealous monkeys always greedy for food, females and bright stones. It
is true that they know how to deck out their desires with a somewhat
brilliant and delusive ideology, but it is easy for an expert to
recognize the instinct beneath the thought. Every doctrine is an
autobiography. Every philosophy demands a diagnosis. Tell me the
state of your digestion, and I shall tell you the state of your
mind."

"Oh, doctor, if that is so, life is not worth living."

"That, my boy, depends entirely upon the liver, as they say."

Young Dundas, who had just reined up level with them, interposed:

"My God, my God," he said, "how you chaps do love talking! Why, I
once had a discussion myself at Oxford with one of those johnnies in
a bowler hat and ready-made tie who go round and make speeches in
public squares on Saturday afternoons. I had stopped to listen to him
on my way back from a bathe. He was cursing the aristocracy, the
universities, and the world in general. Well, after about five
minutes' talking, I went right up to him and said, 'Off with your
coat, my friend; let's go into the matter thoroughly.'"

"And did you convince him, Dundas?"

"It wasn't very difficult, Messiou, because, honestly, I could use
my left better than he could."

CHAPTER XV

DANSE MACABRE

"Magical dancing still goes on in Europe to-day."--Sir James Fraser.

"Doctor," said General Bramble, "this morning I received from London
two new fox-trots for my gramophone."

Ever since the Armistice sent the Scottish Division into rest on the
Norman coast, the Infant Dundas had been running a course of
dancing-lessons at the mess, which were patronized by the most
distinguished "red-hats."

Aurelle emerged from behind an unfolded copy of the _Times_.

"Things look very rotten," he said. "The Germans are taking heart
again; you are demobbing; the Americans are sailing away; and soon
only we and the Italians will be left alone to face the European
chaos----"

"Aurelle," said Colonel Parker, "take off your coat and come and
learn the one-step--that'll be a jolly sight better than sitting
moping there all the evening."

"You know I don't dance, sir."

"You're very silly," said Parker. "A man who doesn't dance is an
enemy of mankind. The dancer, like the bridge-player, cannot exist
without a partner, so he can't help being sociable. But you--why, a
book is all the company you want. You're a bad citizen."

The doctor