as I have you'll not
want to know anything for certain. It's only when things are wrapped up
in a merciful haze of obscurity that life is tolerable at all. Do you
suppose I _wanted_ to find out that my husband was a rascal? I shut my
eyes to it as long as I could, and then Truth came with all her cruel
tools and pried them open. Oh, Jan, it did hurt so!"

If Fay had cried, if her voice had even broken or she had seemed deeply
moved, it would have been more bearable. It was the poor thing's
calm--almost indifference--that frightened Jan. For it proved that her
perceptions were numbed.

Fay had been tortured till she could feel nothing acutely any more. Jan
had the feeling that in some dreadful, inscrutable way her sister was
shut away from her in some prison-house of the mind.

And who shall break through those strange, intangible, impenetrable
walls of unshared experience?

Jan swallowed her tears and said cheerfully: "Well, it's all going to be
different now. You needn't worry about anything any more. If Hugo has
left no money we'll manage without. Mr. Davidson will let me have what I
want ... but we must be careful, because of the children."

"And you'll try not to mind living in Peter's flat?" Fay said, rubbing
her head against Jan's shoulder. "It's India, you know, and men are very
kind out here--much friendlier than they are at home."

"So it seems."

"You needn't think there's anything wrong, Jan. Peter isn't in love with
me now."

"Was he ever in love with you?"

"Oh, yes, a bit, once; when he first came to Dariawarpur ... lots of
them were then. I really was very pretty, and I had quite a little court
... but when the bad times came and people began to look shy at
Hugo--everybody was nice to me always--then Peter seemed different.
There was no more philandering, he was just ... Oh, Jan, he was just
such a daylight person, and might have been Daddie. I should have died
without him."

"Fay, tell me--I'll never ask again--was Hugo unkind to you?"

"No, Jan, truly not unkind. He shut me away from the greater part of his
life ... and there were other people ... not ladies"--Fay felt the
shoulder she leant against stiffen--"but I didn't know that for quite a
long time ... and he wasn't ever surly or cross or grudging. He always
wanted me to have everything very nice, and I really believe he always
hoped the mines and things would make lots of money.... You know, Jan,
I'd _rather_ believe in people. I dar