wever, he managed to get into a house where he
could stop. I, also, had to suffer similarly, though not as severely. In
return, we practised a system of annoying the public authorities whenever
they required a servant by sending in applications.

I APPLY FOR SITUATION AS WORKHOUSE MASTER

When advertisements were out for a master at the Workhouse, I sent in an
application along with thirty-nine others. Mr J. W. Laycock was the
chairman of the Board. He objected to my application being read, but Mr
T. Middlebrook and other members challenged his view, and said the
application must be read. It was somewhat as follows:--"Gentlemen of the
Board of Guardians.--In applying for the situation of Workhouse master I
can assure you that I feel competent for the situation, seeing that I
have had much to do with all classes and kinds of people in my
travels--both high and low, rich and poor. I know, gentlemen, that you
could not do better than engage me, as I have ben so used to living on
low commons that I could keep the paupers at 1s 3d per head, whereas you
boast about keeping them at 2s 8d or 2s 9d per head. You sit down to a
sumptuous dinner, with salmon, &c., every Board day, Mr Leach informs me,
for which you pay 1s per head. Now, I think I could provide you with a
sumptuous dinner at 3d per head, and I should want that allowance for a
little tobacco. It is not, I can assure you, gentlemen, a question of
wages, but one of sheer honour that prompts me to apply for the situation
of master of the Keighley Workhouse. If this suits your notice, you can
reply by return of post.--Your humble servant, Bill o' th' Hoylus End."
But I was not appointed; and it is perhaps unnecessary to say that I did
not intend to be appointed. My application caused much amusement and stir
in the town. After this, Spink and I kept the ball rolling, and one of us
applied for almost every public or semi-public office where we thought we
could cause a little annoyance to the property owners, &c., on the
Boards. Among other posts I applied for were those of nuisances inspector
and School Boards curator.

"THE POOR MAN'S LAWYER"

It was during the long spell of spare time that I had on my hands that I
became a sort of poor man's lawyer, though I had not, I must say, passed
the requisite examination. Scores of people, mostly belonging to the
Irish part of the town, put their confidence in me, telling me secrets
which it would not be wise for me