ld him.

"You think you're so smart," Pee-wee shot back; "why don't _you_ do it?"

"I'm too big," Westy said; "Connie's the best looking; let _him_ do it."

Connie said, "After you; sandwiches always disagreed with _me_."

"You make me tired," Pee-wee yelled; "I've seen you eat a dozen!"

"Let Roy do it," Connie said.

"I'd be tickled to death," I told him, "only I'm patrol leader and I
have to be dignified."

"Well, you won't catch _me_ doing it," Pee-wee shouted.

"Same here," Connie said.

"You all make me tired," I told them; "afraid of being laughed at!"

Just then Mr. Tarkin asked me to carry a bundle of paper into the
printing shop in the back of the office, and as soon as I got in there I
saw about a dozen or so of those placards in a big waste paper box. I
asked the printing man why he had printed so many, and he said they were
only proofs or kind of samples that he made while he was trying to print
a good one.

"Oh, boy," I said to myself; "I'll fix that bunch."

So I went out into the office and I said, "I suppose all you crazy
Indians claim to be good sports. Maybe some of you know how to be good
losers. Suppose we draw lots and see who goes up and down Main Street as
a sandwich man. I'll make five slips of paper and the one who draws the
one with number three on it will have to go out. What do you say?"

First nobody was willing, because each fellow said that if he went out,
all the other fellows would laugh at him.

"You should worry," I said; "I'll fix it so nobody laughs at anybody
else--positively guaranteed."

"How can you be sure?" Pee-wee wanted to know.

"You leave it to me," I told him; "nobody will have anything on anybody
else. Absolutely, positively guaranteed. If not satisfied bring your
sandwich in and get it exchanged for a hunk of pie."

So then I tore five slips of paper and I put a _three_ on every one of
them. I knew how to handle that bunch.

"I'll draw first," Pee-wee shouted.

Good night, you should have seen that kid when he drew number three! All
the fellows began kidding him and saying he was unlucky. Then came
Connie, and _he_ drew three, and then Wig and, oh, boy, I just can't
tell you about it. Each fellow stood there staring at his little slip
and I drew the last one.

"There you are," I said; "we're all stung and everybody's got the laugh
on everybody else. So what's the use of laughing at all? That's logic."

"Sure it is," Pee-wee yelled; "how can anyb